A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing Brother 1 in High school. We broke it of because he went away. After he left I started being friends with Brother 2, we had sex a couple times and I got pregnant and had the baby. Me and Brother 2 was never in a relationship, we was just friends with benefits. At that time I was in love with Brother 1. I thought I would never see him again...until he came back home. I started seeing him again about a year after my baby was born. Since then, our relationship had to be kept a secret because of our situation. We are in love with each other very much. We think that Brother 2 knows about us and I really think his mother suspects something because she is always saying something about how I like Brother 1 and I shouldn't be. I know that their mother would never approve of me and Brother 1's relationship. But I think Brother 2 really wouldn't care or he'll act like he don't care. I care deeply for Brother 2 and vice versa, but I'm in love with Brother 1. We both are in love with eachother. But I know that Brother 1 really cares what his mother would think, and it's keeping us from coming out. We know this situation isn't normal. But I'm the type of person who doesn't care what people think of me. But he is scared is anyone knows, it will get back to his mom, because we live in a small town and everybody knows everybody's business. Also he has 2 kids and I have 1 child, and they are cousins. What should we do?
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 I don't see anything wrong with your situation, you can't help who you fall for, and maybe having a f*ck buddy relationship with his brother wasn't the wisest move, but hey, these things happen. He was probably the next best thing for you, as you couldn't have Brother 1.
Unfortunately, if Brother 1 doesn't want to be open about the relationship, I don't think there is much you can do. I;m sure you have reasoned with him endlessly. And moving away doesn't sound like an option as he has 2 children of his own.
You need to let him know that you are not willing to have a secret relationship for the rest of your life. Give him time to think about it, but it's not fauir for him to expect that of you. It must also be confusing for your child.
It's tough when a mother is involved, in my experience mothers and ex girlfriends are the worst hurdles in relationships, because men never seem to want to stand up to them!
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