A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are engaging in oral sex. First time for both of us...well I am shy so these first few times we focused on him. He is more loving and attentive since we began this new fun way of showing our 3 love!!!I want him to do me, but I am soooo shy!!! He has decided to not let me pleasure him until I let him go down on me...I think maybe he didn't like the way I did it!??! I am overly sensitive and even tho he has been kind and sweet he still won't let me try again to give him oral..I feel bad and I told him so, but he still won't let me even touch him! Meanwhile if my back is turned or I am distracted his hands are all over my butt and boobs. It makes me hot and I reach over to touch him but he jerks away..what am I doing wrong? I feel sad! He doesn't seem to listen when I tell him I need more time to let him close to me, that way...I love him so much and I want to make him happy and I want to make him feel good we have been together 6 months... Am I taking too long? Will he break up with me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tmariee +, writes (24 July 2010):
damn good guy to wanna give you oral!!!! just wait till u feel compfortable and then goooo for it! let lose to lol (: he wont leave he seems like a god guy girl!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Most likely, he is backing away just because he really wants to reciprocate. There is a smaller chance that you are just using your teeth too much, so be mindful of that next time.
New sexual experiences always make us nervous. There's a difference between being nervous and being uncomfortable, though. If you're nervous but comfortable, just ignore it and let him go down on you. And if you're uncomfortable, just continue having regular sex until you're ok with it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 He wont break up with you, he sounds like a great guy! The only reason he pulls away from you is because he wants to go down on you before he lets you pleasure him again. What a great guy to put your pleasure before his!
Now, try to focus less on touching him, and more on how you can get comfortable with him touching you and performing oral on you. Once he can go down on you you will get to go down on him again.
He is not letting you touch him because: you wont let him go down on you! No other reason!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): I don't think he will break up with you. In fact, I think he just really wants to give you oral!!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 July 2010):
 You are never taking too long. You have to progress at the rate you're comfortable with or you will end up conflicted about things. Sexual contact is all about intimacy.
Since you're both new to this, he probably just wants things to be "fair." Look through some of the oral sex questions here. Many of them revolve around one partner giving more than the other, and then resenting the "selfish" one for it. He's likely trying to avoid that scenario. I know that I like to recriprocate when I receive oral, but I've learned that some people take longer before they are comfortable with that kind of thing, and that's perfectly fine and natural.
I can guarantee that you didn't do it wrong, and that he enjoyed it. He is hot for you, that's why he's all over you. He is likely trying to motivate you to let him go down on you by getting you hot and bothered.
Something that may help, try not to think about it too much. Before you meet up, make sure you are nice and clean. This will add to your confidence (but will likely not matter too much to him). Relax. Realize that he wants to give you pleasure. Let it happen.
If you can't relax your shyness with the person you love, then who can you let your guard down around? This will lead to a very lonely life.
Again, It is very important that you take things at a pace that is comfortable for you. You should never rush into sex. Some of your fears may be your psyche's way of telling you that you aren't ready. If you feel ready, but just are too uptight, you might want to let it happen. Sometimes the way past our fear is to face them head on.
To answer your last question, he'll only break up with you if he's a jerk and can't understand that you aren't ready. Be honest and communicate your feelings. Strong communication leads to strong relationships. Good luck.
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