A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 4months now,we work in 2 different cities and we are both doctors!so for us its a task meeting,whenever we find time we try to meet..Its my boyfriends birthday in 2 weeks and I just found out I have to be on duty that day and I really don't feel like applying for leave..I want to tell my boyfriend not to come and we'l celebrate once both of us get free that's october first week..Will he be hurt?should I tell him I can't spend his special day with him? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2013): Hey there,
I think this is one time when he should be understanding. Just let him know that you love and miss him and WANT to be with him on his birthday, but that you can't get out of work and he'd just be sitting around your house alone if he came -- no one's idea of a fun birthday.
Make specific plans to celebrate in the near future (give him dates so he feels secure in that fact), and send him a card/love letter/sweet photo ON the day so he knows you took notice of it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 September 2013):
 with a proper explanation such as the one you gave here I can't see how he could be that upset... work has to come first... and your reason is not an excuse so much as a VALID reason.
If he's old enough and mature enough to be a doctor he should be old enough and mature enough to handle some disappointment if it was REALLY important to him.
LET HIM KNOW now exactly why you can't come and how bad you feel and offer a different time and date to make it up to him... no reason you can't celebrate later on.
AND on his birthday... send him some balloons or a fruit arrangement or something so he knows you are on his mind.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 September 2013):
I wouldn't care, but some people would think it was the end of the world (search the archives for birthday). It's best to ask him and tell him that you want him to be honest.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2013): As long as you explain it to him and show that you'd rather be with him that day, and then make up for it with a really thoughtful gift or date, you'll be fine.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 September 2013):
 Well that's a totally valid reason so I cant see why he would be upset PROVIDING you explain why you cant see him. Dont just say 'really sorry I have to work on your birthday but we'll do something another day', that is pretty lame and lacking in feelings.
Explain to him that you have to work (note the use of the word HAVE, makes it sound more like you would rather be with him but cant) because you are the only doctor working that weekend and you are new to the team so dont want to be seen to be shirking your responsibilities early on in a new team. Tell him that you are really sad to be missing his birthday but you will make it up to him by doing xxxxx on xxxx date.
As Iamheretohelpyou suggested, organise something to show that you do care and that you do want to make up for missing his birthday, if you just said you'll celebrate with him at some point in October that would hurt him because he would think you are not bothered about his birthday or being with him. However if you make plans and show you are excited to do something for his birthday that will lessen the blow.
Just be careful how you word it, make sure you explain properly why you have to work and then make plans to celebrate on another date and I'm sure he will be fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just joined a team of doctors in internal medicine and I think it wld definitely not be appropriate for me to take leave considering I'm the only doctor alloted the weekend..
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 September 2013):
What do you mean you dont 'feel' like applying for leave? I cant really answer unless you explain that one! Are you saying you cant be bothered to take the day off? Or is there a genuine reason why you cant apply for leave?
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