A
female
age
30-35,
*avanna85
writes:Well I was reading someone's question on here about Teen Sex, my question is, will a guy still like you even if you don't want to have sex? I mean, I would love to find a guy that likes me for me and fall in love, but I don't want him to leave me just because I won't have sex with him. Believe me, I'm in no hurry to have sex, but I am going into college in about a year and I really don't want to worry about finding a guy and then losing him. I'm in my teenage years, where I'm supposed to be having all these hormones that make me want to have sex, but I do not have the slightest urge to have sex. Also, when I am ready to have sex I don't want to do any kind of oral sex. The thought of it just disgusts me. But again, I feel that that will be a turn off to a guy and they'll leave me behind because of it. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (23 August 2011):
If he doesn't dump him... he's only after your body.
A
female
reader, Y_v  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 Why don't you try to flip the question? will you still like guys if they don't want to have sex?...
Guys may think more about sex than girls factually but it doesn't mean they are all going to be wanting JUST sex in a relationship. You don't need advice on how to keep a guy. actually that's lie, here's one:
BE YOURSELF.
easy. don't try hard to attract other guys. Once you find comfort in yourself, guys will become more comfortable around you. If you're oozing confidence then jobs done, you'll bag someone who's willing to wait for you whenever you're ready.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (22 August 2011):
 Depends on the guy.
Some guys will be focused on a mainly sexual relationship, some are emotionally focused. But, most guys are going to want to be sexual at some point in the relationship.
Stick to what is right for you. If a guy dismisses you because you choose not to be sexually active right now-then you would not really want to date him anyway.
Better to be disliked for who you are, than admired for who you are not.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, eek +, writes (22 August 2011):
 if a guy really likes you he wont mind if your not ready to have sex. One girlfriend i had we did not have sex at all in the first eight months of the relationship i didnt mind that as she was loving and affectionate. When your ready you will know!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 August 2011):
 My family was just asking me, "how many boyfriends did you have?" - so I ran down the list - about 8 or 9, and all of them lasted for 4 months to a year and a half. That was from 11 (first boyfriend) until 19 (last boyfriend who I ended up marrying). Those relationships were all really wonderful, fulfilling, fun. They were filled with lots of dates, laughter, memories. Lots of making out. But no sex. No oral sex. Pretty much stopped at second base for me.
I felt much like you, and decided to wait until I found a guy who I just felt right about, who my body just reacted to. At 19, when I met my fella, I felt right about it and I lost my virginity to him three months into dating him. (Guess I had good instincts, as he's the one I ended up marrying... I didn't think I'd end up sleeping with just one, but what can ya do??)
You CAN have fulfilling and awesome relationships without the oral and straight-up sex. Maybe there will be a scumbag or two who will reject you or pressure you or be a jerk about it - but guess what? That guy is not someone you want to be dating ANYWAY!!
Confidence, confidence, confidence. Listen to your gut. Trust yourself and always do things that you feel right about. Good luck, sweet!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (22 August 2011):
 if a guy leaves you because you don't want to do something well guess what? he isn't worth having.
unless you are with someone who you really have feeling for there is no need for you to have urges to have sex. when you get with a guy you will need to let your relationship develop and see if you and he are sexually compatible and into the same stuff - if not, you have the choice to leave.
your post seems to be all about worrying that a guy will leave you if you don't come up with the goods. i think you need to do some work on your self confidence coz never once did you say that you might leave them if they want stuff that you don't want to give! its a two way street you know. compromise is great and shows you care but if you find something totally horrible - don't do it. most men love oral sex, so again, you could compromise by doing it for a bit but not til he cums, maybe that would be ok for you to do.
you are sticking to your morals and not just following the rest of the flock who thing that virginity is something shameful to be discarded as soon as possible, you should be commended for that and a good guy will respect you for this, not dump you for having good standards
x
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