A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife of 2 years (together for 7) has lost her attraction to me over the course of 2 weeks. I have always done everything for her, been very attentive, the sex is great and i've never done anything to hurt her. She went on an education trip to Japan and when she came back her attraction to me was just gone. She did meet another guy on the trip that she developed feelings for, but never did anything and I don't think that is the true problem. We've talked and talked and talked about this and it seems deeper than that. It just seems like she wants to be free, that it really has nothing to do with me or him or anything other than freedom. Yes, maybe she sees the embodiment of freedom in this other guy. We have a house and a dog and roots where we live and maybe that's too binding for her. Anyway, what i'm asking is whether she's too far gone? She said she's tired of making the "right" decision or doing "what's expected of her". Is there any saving this marriage? How do I get her attraction to me to come back? Will it ever come back? Sorry for the length! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 July 2010):
I don't think there is any chance of saving this. And, in fairness, I don't think this if your fault. She sounds like a woman who should not have married at such an early age. I think what happened was she married young, having had no real life experience, or no real experience with other men. She saw this other guy, and coupled with the fact that she went on a trip and saw part of the world, it's just made her realize that she wasn't ready. Not your fault. You've probably done a lot to try and get this to work. But to lose attraction in two weeks on her part really shows her up as a person who shouldn't have married so young. She was too young to commit, and sadly has drawn you into this mess. I would suggest that you first ask her if she would like a break to work out how she feels. Set a time limit (a month), and tell her that you expect her to think things through. Agree not to see anyone else (that prevents her from just going out, having fun then coming home to you). If she decides that she wants out, then end it now, take all the crap that comes with it and go and live your own life. If not, maybe it will be worked through.
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