A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Would like to get some opinions on whether my boyfriend's are normalWe have been together for 2 months. He only kissed me lightly on the lips ONCE and most of the time he wanted me to neck him and to stroke his penis. There were also times when he will stick his hand into my bra or panties when we are alone and pull my hand to stroke his penis.The ultimate came when we were in the cinema and I had a cardigan over me. He started stroking my nipples under the cardigan! He also started talking about wanting to make love and when i said im not ready, he said i can blow him he does not need full sex. I am a virgin and he knows it. When i got upset he said we are a couple and that he is not asking for SM, just a blow job.Is this getting weird?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): One issue here is whether or not you like the guy. If you do, do you let him know? Do you initiate kissing at any time? Do you initiate any sort of sex play with him?
On the other hand, if you don't like him all that well, then stop the relationship now, find another boyfriend, and get on with your life.
And, yes, it's pretty normal for a guy to want to do sexual things after the first few dates. It doesn't have to be intercourse though. Other things can be equally satisfying. And the guy should definitely take the time to do the things (kissing, cuddling, holding, stroking, talking, etc.) that put you in the mood for sexual contact of some type. All of this is normal. In a healthy relationship, both of you should want to do these things.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): I think he is fairly normal in what he wants and how he is going about it really, but that doesnt mean that it is what you should settle for. I dont think he is the guy for you to be honest...there are a lot of respectful decent guys out there and I think you should look for one you are on the same page with. mal
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 July 2010):
He does sound like he's only interested in sex and little else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have known each other for one and a half month. Yes he is my first boyfriend. Sometimes he will say that his ex "allowed him to enter". I feel a bit upset that although I said I'm not ready, he continues to "psycho" me into it every other day. I'm worries that he is not serious and just want to get into my pants. I do not object to premarital sex but i do not want to do it with him until I feel the relationship is stable n I feel secured enough. Plus he does not even kiss or hug me. If we were getting intimate and he start to ask for blow job maybe I will be more receptive. But asking for it out of the blue makes me uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 It's normal for a man to be attracted to a woman and to want to do sexual things. How old are you? Your age range is listed as 26-29, so I'm just wondering if this if your first boyfriend or first sexual contact?
While his approach may be somewhat crude, just saying you can blow him isn't exactly seductive, he isn't out of line to kiss you or to want sexual contact with you.
My guess is that you aren't really ready for sex or this contact with him, I'd suggest talking frankly, honestly and openly about your feelings on the matter with him. If he wants more than you are prepared to do sexually at this point, it may be that you aren't really compatible as a couple.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you are planning to not have sex until your wedding night, you should make that clear to him now. If you feel that oral sex is going too far, or whatever other sexual contact you are not prepared to do right now, just be clear what you will and won't be doing before marriage. (Assuming that you're a virgin waiting for marriage, that is.)
He is not weird for wanting sexual contact with you. What would be weird is that he is pushing you beyond your comfort level, knowing what your limits are.
How long have you known him, and are you dating him with the idea that he is a potential husband?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 July 2010):
He's just interested in the sex side of your relationship and very little else. Realistically, no man is going to be able to wait forever. Sure, maybe until you're married. But not forever. At some point, a boyfriend of yours will want sex, and there is only so much putting off you can do.
But at 2 months, he should be having a bit more respect for you than this. It just seems to me that he's interested in sex and little else. Maybe you should find a more accommodating guy who has more respect for you.
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