A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi recently my wife to be has said one of the things that turns her on is the idea of her buying me a working girl to Partake once in our love making. Her interaction would be strictly limited to oral sex and breast work and fingers, with no kissing or full intercourse allowed. Personally I am not comfortable with the idea as I don't believe people in love ever want to share their intimate physical moments and am suddenly doubting the whole wedding etc... I know she loves me and only me and has tried to explain to me that it's merely adding in some extra physical fun for us but I'm a very protective sort and don't think I would feel comfortable doing it and feel it blurs boundaries and things might change irrevocably.What do you guys think???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): Thanks for the answers all. We talked about it some more a bit more thoroughly and basically while I have fantasies of being with 2 women one of them wouldn't be her because they would be faceless emotionless women, and fantasies like that with a third party stay as fantasies because you give that up when you marry. Regarding her fantasy we talked through the reasons why it made me uncomfortable and I put some possibilities before her such as what if she gave better bjs than u? Etc and basically she realized the potential issues that could arise from it that she hadn't considered and said that she agreed, as you could not take it back it would not be worth risking the relationship. It would go one of two ways, 1, one of us would get jealous and hurt and we could never take it back, 2, we would both enjoy it but then next time one would want more and it's a downward spiral and would end up in situation one. Either way it's a no win solution and she hadn't thought of it like that.however she does as well as I believe about being comfortable with telling eachother our fantasies, it's just one of those (like mine with 2 faceless women) which will not come true because our relationship isn't worth the risk. So we are on the same wavelength now we have discussed it and our just going to focus on our own many other fantasies and live then solely through eachother, and they are more than enough to keep us happy ;)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): dont do it. i admire your good morals. there should be more men like you in the world. i think what she has suggested is disgusting, to be honest. and when you get married, you are supposed to stay faithful to each other ( and that should happen even when you're just boyfriend and girlfriend, but even more so when you get married ) . her behaviour sends up a red flag to me.
if my boyfriend suggested soemthing like that to me, i would break up with him for good. thankfully, i have a faithful boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, StephJayne  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 I agree with Tisha-1It seems like an activity that could cause something in your relationship with her. If something like that turns her on, then why don't you both watch a porn movie together and do what's on the film to each other? It could still turn her on, but it also brings you two closer by just having it as you and her ??Talk to your partner about this and tell her that you are uncomfortable with the idea.Good luck
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A
female
reader, NatureGirl +, writes (8 July 2010):
Sex is one of those things that is 100% unique to every person. It would be ok if you were into it too and you talked about it, but this sounds like it's just going to ruin your marriage. If you are simply worried about being awkward or something, why not give it a shot and make sure to explain your feelings before and after. But if it seems like being unfaithful in any way, don't do it. Explain to her calmly and non threateningly how it makes you feel. She is your wife, she should love you and respect you enough to let this fantasy go. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Whoop! Red flag just went up.
This is something you two have to decide on together. If you've said it makes you uncomfortable, you don't like the boundary-blurring, and are worred about the irrevocable changes that might occur and she still wants to proceed, then perhaps you two aren't as fully compatible as you ought to be.
What's more important, her sexual whims or your relationship?
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): You're going to head down a quick downward spiral if you go through with this encounter. What seems amazing in someone's imagination may not pan out so well when the real-life situation comes along.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Go for it! Get her to get tested first though to be safe!
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