A
female
age
30-35,
*oonluna22
writes:About a year ago I developed a lump in my left breast about the size of a ping pong ball. Eventually that lump has increased significantly to the size of a baseball. It didn't hurt or anything and I don't know how it happened but it did and it's been there for over a year. My boyfriend of 3 years has seen it all. So about 2 months ago I finally take the initiative to get it removed because the lump is a little embarrassing and it just needed to come out. After months of tests and doctors appointments, the lump was scheduled to be removed 5:30 am yesterday. The morning of, I'm running late and my boyfriend is dragging. Whatever. We finally get there around 6am, and as I'm opening the car door to go he's driving out dragging my feet on the pavement telling me to get out. I get out, he speeds off. I go to the appointment upstairs in the hospital and by the grace of God they accept me without my paperwork, I.D. and half hour late. Right before my name is called, my boyfriend walks in. I go to the back alone and nervous as shit, crying. They take blood, I.v., anesthesia etc. I wake up around 9am,the nurses are preparing me to be released. The lump is gone there's blood on my chest and bandaged. I'm in pain at this point just ready to go home. The nurses call over the intercom, cell phone, and even personally walked through the center to locate my boyfriend to take me home. my battery is dead so I call him from their desk. He left. He went all the way back home which was about a 45 minute drive. So the hospital provided me a ride home however I must wait at least an hour. mind you I'm in great pain and my boob is bandaged up all the while I'm crying. Out of no where my boyfriend finally shows up around 12 noon, as he's pulling up I see his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend in the back seat I guess he went to pick them up while I'm under the knife. Why? I don't know but I do know that I was in no mood to deal with people I needed my bed rest. So he drives all the way back home while his other friends are calling him to come hang out. As we're pulling up to the house he spots one of his friends on the corner. I get out the car with all my stuff practically limping to the door. I go all the way to the 3rd floor of our apartment via stairs, I'm exhausted and blood is now coming out of my chest. I stand in the hallway about to fall over for about 10 minutes wondering why he's taking so long. I sit down in the hallway short of breath and call him. He's gone again! He says he left the keys in the beauty salon below our house. I'm soooo frustrated I cry some more. I go all the way back downstairs to get the keys, and go all the way back up in soooo much pain, death would be easier. I limp to the bathroom to attempt to clean myself struggle to undress myself. He finally walks in the house around 8 pm doing the bare minimum in helping me out. Shouldn't he have carried me up the stairs? Shouldn't he have been there to unlock the door? Shouldn't he have not left my side? I feel he didn't show any kind of concern or care just because he thought I was being bitchy?! Excuse me I have half a boob and a hole in it gushing blood!!! Should I be jumping for joy and easy going? NO! He wasn't there for me today, the day after either nor did he leave me money for food or anything so I had to walk to mcdonalds and almost passed out! Am I wrong for being a bitch about this?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): Oh you don't need this. You are only 21 years old and going through a terrible ordeal. Your boyfriend is a lot older than you and should know better, scratch that! any DECENT man would have helped you through this regardless of age. Leave him and focus on yourself, you do not need more stress in your life at the moment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): He's obviously very immature and you've just got a good dose of reality....you now know what is important in his life. What a boob! (pardon the pun)
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A
female
reader, Moonluna22 +, writes (9 July 2010):
Moonluna22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your Very helpful advice. God Bless
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 July 2010):
After reading your response, I'm even more sure you should dump him.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (8 July 2010):
 You have every right to feel upset, the least he could've done was be present and help you upstairs. He didn't even do that, and his actions speak volumes of how he'll treat you in the future, should you need help. Leave him. Don't ever make excuses for his behavior and don't rationalize why you should stay with him, he treated you very poorly and showed he couldn't care less about your well-being.
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A
female
reader, Moonluna22 +, writes (8 July 2010):
Moonluna22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionToday he clearly stated that there are a lot more important things to worry about than my breast problem. Its bad enough I feel less of a woman now that the surgery is done. Let it be known that I'm 21 and he is 14 years older than I am. Ive argued with him non stop since I got home from the hospital and he is refusing on every level to admit that he was wrong in any way. Keeps justifying and giving excuses and when it gets too intense he leaves or goes to sleep swearing that he's right 100%. I heard him on the phone with his Co worker saying that "what's the point of me coming home if I'm just gonna get bitched at?" As if his Co worker actually knows how he's been treating me the last 48 hours. This is crazy, ive arranged a ride to take me to my sisters to live with her tomorrow because I shouldn't have to be dealing with this as I'm in pain trying to heal.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (8 July 2010):
 No, its completely resonable. I think you should ditch this guy, and try and move on. He is wrong for you. I think you should tell him to buck up his ideas or else your gonna walk away, and if he doesnt act any better, you know what you should do. A proper bf wouldnt do this to his ill gf.
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A
female
reader, rosiesarered2 +, writes (8 July 2010):
you deserve better. he should have been there for you while you were going through all that. you deserve a guy that will be there every step. good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 July 2010):
He should have been there every step of the way, and he wasn't. At all. And to me, that says all you need to know about him. He wasn't there, and he never will be. Do you want to be with this guy?
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