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male
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*wiltan
writes: Oral one way only.When i met my wife we both gave and recieved lots of oral sex. Its something that ive always loved. Since marriage a few months ago its become one way traffic, i still go down but never get a BJ anymore.Ive tried talking to her about it and been told she isnt really into giving them, and i shouldnt pester her/ should 'forget about it'. We know about each others past's and i know her previous partner got lots of BJ.It sounds stupid, but im starting to get resentful about it and dont know how to deal with it.From what ive read, this is a common effect of marriage. So, a 2 in 1 question if i may?:Girls, why do women change this way once married?. Guys has this happened to you? how did you deal with it?.Cheers.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (17 May 2006):
 I suppose it is not just the BJ you are missing it is the imtimacy that goes with it maybe? If she will do this she still loves you?
Don't feel bad for wanting things to go back to the way they were. Like I said b4 I wish you luck.
x
A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (17 May 2006):
 she sounds like a selfish person to me to me baiscally the expression in life is you give in order to receive i always attempt to give my husband a blow job then he satfies me. If you ask me find another woman who can give you what you want sexually and get rid of this wife of yours.
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A
male
reader, twiltan +, writes (16 May 2006):
twiltan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwillywombat + No i am careful with hygeine and keep in shape so dont think its that, btw no worries about forcing her head down or anything..I just wouldnt do it. And ive only brought it up..as gently as I could 2 times...so dont feel im pestering. Chrisb: She loves receiving, without being too graphic theres no way im misinterpreting it.Even as im writing it i realise how stupid it sounds for me to get resentful over something like a BJ. Hard to explain really.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (16 May 2006):
Has anything changed in your life - I am sorry if this appears *offensive* - like your personal hygiene? I know that I have had BF's in the past and after a period of time they got a bit slacker in the old wash and brush up department, and that is just not nice! I have been with my hubby for nearly 8 years and whilst it doesn't happen as frequently as I like we do still make the effort for each other. So it is not all women that do this or all men who *suffer*!!
Try dating her again maybe. Get dressed up and meet her for a drink somewhere and see if you can seduce her all over again. But dont pester or shove her head *down there* as there is nothing quite so off putting as the hand on the back of the head when you really don't want to go there!
Anyhow, I wish you lots of luck.
xx
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A
male
reader, chrisb +, writes (16 May 2006):
 Hello.
I've been through this experience, and I dealt with it by looking at it in a different way. Have you spoken to your wife, to let her know how much it upsets you?
I think it would be unfair to expect your wife to give you a BJ, if she really doesn't want to. Why don't you find other things you both enjoy. I do think you both need to talk more, about how your wife feels about oral sex, and does she feel guilty about receiving and saying NO to you??
Does she actually enjoy having oral sex?
I would talk to your wife about how important this is to you, and let me know what she says.
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A
male
reader, twiltan +, writes (16 May 2006):
twiltan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the comments DrPete.
Everything else is good, I still make romantic gestures (flowers, surprises etc). We still get on well.
She has just decided she doesnt like doing it.
Any attempt to talk about it is 'pestering', as far as
she is concerned its just not gonna happen.
What annoys me most is that when dating it was regular both ways...and i got no hint this was coming up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): My Wife has only made an attempt on a BJ on me about 3 times in the whole 17 years together. More recently she had an affair, we are trying to work through it and doing lots of talking but you can imagine how I felt when I discovered she gave this guy a BJ. She says she doesnt like doing it and its all in the mind, she only gave him one as she felt she needed to in return, pitty she doesnt feel like that for me? If you find out how to get your wife to perform a BJ I would like to know, may help us as I am beginging to think I'd be better walking out the door and turning my back on what has been 17 years of happy marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): (female) many women feel they should behave like a wife when they become one, more energy on being homely than sexy, it may not be a conscious thing. why dont you stop going down for a while so she realises that its something a person really does miss...
good luck!1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): Hi twiltan
That doesn't sound stupid to me at all!
I'm not married but I'm guessing sexual acts such as this can become less exciting when you have been with a partner for a while. I think your wife is being a bit unreasonable, especially if you are doing it to her.
You want to avoid exchanging sexual acts for the sake of it though. You don't want sex to turn in to routine.
How is the romance generally in your relationship? Have you found yourself fixed in to a routine and sex is less spontaneous nowadays?
Perhaps you can talk about this and say how much you miss it, and that she was the best you've ever had! Follow it up with an evening [or weekend] of romance. Make her feel sexy and perhaps she'll be more interested in sexually pleasing you? Good luck with it mate, let us know how you get on!
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