A
male
age
51-59,
*ractor
writes:Why do l get turned on by other men sleeping with my wife? It is now a regular thing for her to have 2 or 3 men who she is seeing . She loves me and we have been married 22 yrs , but wants to have her lovers and me .Is that Wrong ?
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male
reader, george4u  +, writes (4 December 2011):
I am a 60 yr. old male and I am impotent. I had prostate cancer years ago and the radiation turned my prostate into scar tissue but also killed all the nerves in that area. My very beautiful wife and I have been married 40 years and she is in good health and we are still very much in love. I want her to enjoy a satisfying sex life because she deserves it and I can't perform. I knew a former co-worker who I could trust and he eagerly agreed to help us with our problem. My wife and my friend (her friend too now) get together about once a month now and enjoy a night together at a motel room for sex. This actually turns me on and we both want this to continue for a long long time.
A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Hate to upset everyone, but I've learned from having a very unconventional relationship(according to the rest of the world it seems)myself that no one can say what is right or wrong for any other couple in a relationship. Every relationship is different and what may work for me may well not work for you, or you, or you, but so what? Is it your business what I do? Is it my business what you do? No, either way its still the same answer. And I go back to my original reply......... You are consenting adults. If you have no issue with your wife sleeping with other men - and you don't because it turns you on - then whats the problem here? In fact, why are you even asking the question? If the truth is you do have a problem with it, then change something - but that something has to be what suits you two, not me or them or us or we. Sorry to all those hopping up and down, but its MY truth. Yours may be different.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (31 May 2010):
if you are only being open in the hope she doesn't leave you then no this is wrong. if you are being open because you are all happy with it being this way and because your original problem said it turned you on then fine.
if you wife cant be faithful to you and the only way of keeping her is to let her have affairs then I feel very sorry for you and I hope one day you find a woman who loves you and wants to be with.
Also if your wife is sleeping with multiple men then I hope she is using condoms for your healths sake.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (31 May 2010):
Wow what world do ya'll live in? better you then me and more power to the both of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): I am shocked to see all these open minded answers good w/u guys as it is on the open?. How about betraying the laws of marriage.LOL. Betraying your husband or wife? You need to go tell him/her, or it's the greatest sin? Now, if a husband knows, wife can sleep around and all is good?HMMM...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): Are you saying that you are allowing her to have multiple affairs so that she will be happy and not leave you? Do you believe that she would leave you for a single life if you don't allow her to have these affairs? If your marriage is that insecure then you would be better off ending it and not just allowing her to act as if she is still single and putting you at risk for disease. A marriage where one partner allows the other to use them and still have their single life is not much of a marriage. If you are doing it because it doesn't bother you at all and you are fine with this then that is one thing, but if she is just using you for security and then boinking a bunch of other guys then end it. In my mind, she has already left you for the most part.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Sounds like your wife need more loving from YOU in order to stay. She doesnt want to go elsewhere to get it, she needs it from you. She feels unloved. If that is so, the answer is not to get her a new lover, but to bring back the man she married, the one she wanted to be with.
Then again, this is all based on one sentence. If your wife has a problem with the situation, then bring it to an end.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): I have no problem with an open marriage as long as everyone is in agreement. However, it seems like her having 2 or 3 men on the string at the same time is a bit risky. Are all of those men ones who both of you can trust? What about the dangers of STIs? It sounds like she has many more than just 2 or 3 over time from the way you describe it, which if true would add more risk. If me and/or my wife wanted an open marriage then I think I would want both of use to limit it to one trusted person and not be switching partners frequently.
I personally wouldn't be adverse to my wife and me having an affair with an individual each who we have great trust in, but not as you describe it, or at least the way that I read it.
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (30 May 2010):
Nothing's wrong as long as its all out in the open and you're all consenting.
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A
male
reader, tractor +, writes (30 May 2010):
tractor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the answers given , My wife sometimes says l cant love her as l dont get jealous . I do love her but l also want her to enjoy life & sample other things , being open hopefully ensures that she perhaps will not leave me for another .
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (30 May 2010):
 If you're both happy with the arrangement, then I don't see a problem. It might not be conventional, but it doesn't matter what other people are doing in their marriages - stick with what makes yours work. ]
However if at any point either of you become unhappy it, it needs to stop and you two need to communicate with each other clearly what you want, and how you can work together to stay together.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (30 May 2010):
well she isn't keeping it from you, your turned on by it so your happy with it and she likes having more than one man. so long as the balance stays as it is and everyone stays happy then fine.
but as soon as someone isnt happy then it needs to stop. also if you have children then you need to make sure they never find out and it doesn't happen in front of them because this is the type of thing that can stay with them forever.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): Personally, I wouldn't say its a recipe for a good marriage, but if everyone is happy then no it's not wrong.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 May 2010):
If it floats your boat then its all good.
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