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Why wouldn't he come back to get his things?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *elliesdogs writes:

he went to his exwife of 2 yrs when i kicked him out we were fighting and i told him to go, he was living with me, the next day i was not angry anymore and sorry, i called him he cried and said he wanted to come back that night but then his cell phone went out of range. he wouldnt answer any of my calls after that call, i then found out he is staying with his ex-wife. he still has everything he owns in my house but wont talk to me and has now changed his phone # he has been gone almost a month now....any advice why would you not come back and get your stuff??? PLEASE HELP

View related questions: ex-wife, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

All these Aunts below bring up excellent pointers about your situation. Hope you are taking note and really listening to their words...Sweety, it appears, he doesn't care about his stuff right now. He just focused on ...saving his own butt and avoiding you. I think it's time to call this one, day, permanently. It's also time for you to be strong and move on because he's not the guy for you. When a man can't even break up with a woman in a decent, mature, truthful manner, then he's a A-1 loser in my books. He's going to hide out and have his fun with the ex and then he will eventually, remember 'why' they broke up originally and it will happen. I think he will be back. But you will not take him back, will you? Don't be his backup, second best girl, hun....hope you have the confidence, the self-respect and pride to kick his ass to the curb when he does do this. If you don't have that, then get some counseling to find out how you can have the strength to set boundaries with the people that take you down, in your life.

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A female reader, lalybug2008 United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

lalybug2008 agony auntOh boy.. I know what you're going through.. do I ever! My current live in boyfriend of almost 3 yrs on and off has been nothing more than a boomerang. Bouncing back and forth between his ex gf and me. When we break up he goes right back to her and then begs to come back. He would pack all of his things but purposefully leave stuff behind. He'd play the "stay away" game with me too. It never lasted as long as a month but he's done the whole thing, changing his cell #, blocking me from his email and instant messangers. Many times it wasn't even that I kicked him out, he just leave and go back to her for whatever the reason. But as time would show, he left his stuff behind so he'd have a "reason" to come back. What your guy (or ex) is doing is cold and cruel. He's well aware of what he left behind but he's trying to teach you a lesson. He's playing with your mind. He'll contact you eventually and play the "I was so crushed by what you did" game and work his way back there. Who knows why he went back to his ex wife. But the thing is, you told him to leave...so he did as you asked. It's been a month and he hasn't tried to retrieve his belongings so it's up to you what you decide to do. Possession is .9 of the law! Keep what you want and trash the rest or hold a yard sale! Good luck and email me if you'd like..

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A male reader, jay12toes United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

jay12toes agony aunti would say he hasnt come back for his stuff because he doesnt want to see you, which is either because A)hes afraid that you will ask him to come back B)hes just really mad at you C)he still loves you so its hard for him to see you.

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A female reader, sadbutliving United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

He is keeping all of his stuff at your house beacause he wants control. He s keeping you on the back burner and when things so sour with you he will try to come back. What he is doing is very selfish and unfair. He will continue to go back and worth if u let him. Just keep him at arms distance and hopefully by the time he wants to cme back you will have found someone new and better.

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