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Why would this be? Having a hard time getting turned on by my boyfriend

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2015)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Lately I've been having a difficult time getting turned on by my boyfriend.

We have not have sex yet, and dont plan on it anytime soon.

We do do other things, you can probably guess. But recently, it's been hard for me to want to do anything with him.

What makes it worse is that I now can't stand him touching my boobs. Normally when we are in the mood, we kiss a little, then he goes for my boobs and plays with them, which I loved.

But now it really annoys me when he touches them. I am sexually attracted to him, but I'm not sure what's going on or how to fix it.

I don't know if maybe him constantly touching my boobs has an affect or if it doesn't. He does tend to want to always touch them, and I have explained to him how I've been feeling, so he's laid off.

View related questions: boobs, in the mood

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2015):

Is there something else going on? The simple answer is tell

him what you want him to do--if anything.

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A male reader, empty-1 United States +, writes (8 June 2015):

its boredom with the same thing. You used to get aroused by this behavior, it was new, exciting, and taboo. Now, it's fairly humdrum, and so not only not exciting and arousing, but kinda annoying.

This is a natural progression, and is the base cause of most of the marital infidelity amongst couples older than you. Biologically, the human animal is not hormonally and neurologically wired to be monogamous. That's the reason -WHY- faithfulness and long term / lifetime love, fidelity, and loyalty are so honored and treasured - it means someone was able to conquer their base urges, and have the self control and restraint to remain true.

If it really bothers you that the same heavy petting no longer does it for you, there are a few options.

You could call off the relationship. It doesn't sound like you're in that place, so maybe not the best option.

You could stop being physical for a while. This can sometimes re kindle the excitement when you re start.

You could agree together on a lesser degree of frequency of physical affection. This method can be especially useful as a follow up to the previous one.

Or (and I don't suggest this at your age) you could consider escalating, getting completely nekkid with one another, and rediscovering the new, exciting, taboo feeling. The problem with this approach is, there's a limit to the activities the two of you haven't explored, and when you get bored with those, then what?

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