A
female
age
30-35,
*oeismeanyou
writes:So I've been seeing this guy lately. I have no clue what we are, at this point I think we are just hook up buddies I don't know. Anyways, every time he would ask to hang out or go out and I say yes he blows me off and I won't hear from him. He wouldn't even text or call to say "hey I can't do it" or anything and would text me a day or so after the fact and act like nothing happened and honestly its starting to annoy me. I wanna know why he keeps doing that? Am I doing something wrong or is he not interested? *I know I should move on now, I just want some advice so I could know for future reference*
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (10 June 2015):
 Hes a player definitely. If you dont get out now you will lose self esteem and feel used.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2015):
 Yep, I'm with Cindy.
He treats you that way because YOU allow it. YOU are NOt doing anything "wrong" for him to act that way - you are doing yourself a disservice though BY allowing him to use you as a casual doormat.
You know what you should do, SO get your BIG girl panties, put them on and MOVE on.
UNLESS you want to continue to let him use you.
Don't EVER be so desperate for a guy's approval that you let him WALK all over you.
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (8 June 2015):
This is how he keeps you emotionally available, and thus, physically available. He has no real interest in you, romantically. Players use this tactic to keep you hanging on the edge of their next call.
The unpredictable, in charge, unapologetic alpha male was physically dominant during the evolution of the species. That meant that his genes were most likely to succeed and ensure the propagation of the species.
Unfortunately, that means that while an individual woman might not understand why she feels like she does for such a man, this sort of behavior keeps women coming back for more. It's a short circuit right to the primal mating instinct of the animal side we all try real hard to deny is controlling us, all the while doing exactly as it demands.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 June 2015):
 He keeps doing it because you allow him. He knows he can do the heck he wants, there will be no consequences, you might at best pout a bit since you are " starting " to get annoyed, rather than being sick and tired and disgusted, but eventually he will have his sex-on-a-plate without even having to bother finding a believable excuse for blowing you off, or presenting believable apologies.
No, of course he is not that interested . If he was, a ) he would not disappear on you last minute , in pursuit of something " better " to do, because you would be the best option for spending his time with, or at least one of the best ; B) he would be afraid of pushing his luck, because he would be afraid that you could be turned off by his jerkitude and you could send him to hit the road jack and don't you come back. Instead he clearly thinks you won't do it , but, if you , at the end if your rope, SHOULD do it, so what. No big loss.
Sorry to be so brutallly sincere, but - if you know that you should move on , well, why don'r you. So maybe you need a little push, and not too gentle.
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