A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello All!My question is "Why does a girl stay with a guy after she finds out that he was cheating on her?" I dated this guy for a few months and then found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. I told the girlfriend and she still is with him. We met through salsa and I see them out together dancing all the time. It's the weirdest thing! Because when I talked to her, she said it was over and that she wanted nothing to do with him. I'm guessing he won her back...or she never intended to leave. How do you stay with someone knowing that information? Wouldn't you constantly wonder if he's going to do it again? I just think something is wrong with this picture. Or am I crazy and this is normal?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (28 December 2010):
 There are a lot of reasons, but most often it's related to having low self-esteem and very little self respect.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Thanks everyone! Overall very helpful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Well, she probably took him back for various reasons...who knows why he cheated to begin with as people cheat for various reasons. Moreover, if she decided to take him back...what's it to you honestly? Are you jealous? That is the question you should be asking yourself....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): You are (hopefully) not crazy, but this is very normal in many relationships.
She probably intended to leave but something stopped that from happening.
What?
Any one of thousands of reasons.
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A
female
reader, Browneyesak +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Maybe they truly love each other
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (27 December 2010):
Sometimes people have really low self esteem. They feel that if they leave the one they're with that they will not be able to find someone better, or worse yet that they'll end up alone and miserable.
For a few years I was that person. I knew my wife was cheating on me, although she would not fully admit it, and I wanted nothing more than to leave her... yet I couldn't. Eventually I did get to a breaking point, and I filed for divorce.
This girl just hasn't reached that point, at least not yet. She obviously took her boyfriend back. However, I'm skeptical that she has truly gotten over her boyfriend's cheating. That kind of pain just doesn't go away, at least not in my experience, until one moves on and dumps the cheater.
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A
male
reader, 1DrLove +, writes (27 December 2010):
Maybe she knew and acted like she didn't. Maybe she doesn't care because you were just a conquest and she is the real thing. Maybe they have some sort of kinky sex sharing thing that they each do.
All you know is you are not part of that craziness any longer (except the time you allow it in your head)
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A
male
reader, Luckshot  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 No your not crazy at all. There's a lot of reasons why she took him back, one might be that she see's it as she one uping you. Or another might be that she didn't want to throw away all the time she put into there relationship.
At the end of the day there together and thats that. If she forgave him them thats her cross to bear not yours :)
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