A
female
age
41-50,
*ani81
writes:Hi, me and my partner have been together 10 years his previous partner he was with for 15 years. I was looking at his messages and found a message where he stated to her that there is nothing here for him and I have questioned him on this but so far I've got two different answers. Now to me it would mean what it says! That basically our relationship is non existent,nothing to him. Sick of having it blamed on me because he thinks it's my fault because I made him feel this way.which I haven't I was unaware of him feeling this as it wasn't mentioned by him to me. He texted this to his ex partner who he isn't close to. Only reason for this that I can gather is he's put it out there in hope that she would want to have him back.to test the water so to speak. Just wanting another opinion on why he would text that to her. Thanks.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 August 2019):
 Are you judging a 10 year relationship on ONE message where he sort of "whines" to his ex-gf?
And why?
Figure out if he is RIGHT in his assessment and if the relationship is still viable or .. if this is a dead horse you are both flogging because you don't want to be alone.
Why are you making HIS EX the 3rd wheel in YOUR relationship? OR... why are you ALLOWING HIM to do that?
Sounds like the relationship is over and nether of you wants to admit it.
A
female
reader, Dani81 +, writes (11 August 2019):
Dani81 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is the partner in question y I said that to my ex is because I needed to get it of my chest because that's the way she makes me feel (not always) like I love the girl so much an things will be going great for us (getting along ,sex ,life in general )than IAM cut of don't touch me I can go all round it but don't U dare make any penatration totally 110% out of bounds this happens every week or two I hate to think the worst but wot else explains it???
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A
female
reader, Dani81 +, writes (11 August 2019):
Dani81 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is the partner that text his ex an I only said that to her because I had to get it off my chest cause that's the way she makes me feel I love the girl so much and do every thing I can for her things will be going great for us (getting along -sex-life in general)than all of a sudden IAM cut off don't touch me like I can go all round it to arrouse her but don't dare make any penatration this happens every week or two I practically beg her but Nutin and no explanation .I hate to think the worst but thats wot it really looks like
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 May 2019):
I have to agree with Youcannotbeserious
Either this is true and you have been ignoring the fact that the relationship IS dead in the water or he is hoping to get some "sympathy" from his ex. Be that in words or deeds.
Either way, you need to figure out FOR yourself HOW you feel about the relationship. This is MORE about the state of your relationship than the ex.
Why were you even going through his messages? Were you looking for ammo for a fight? Or ... is he perhaps being honest?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2019): Well.... men will usually state that their relationship is dead in the water when they're looking to cheat and tell the prospective 'mistress' that the relationship he is in isn't working for whatever reason, so she thinks that there is a chance he will leave her.
Or because it's true.
How do you know that he isn;t close to his ex? With phones these days, one can say something and the opposite be true. I would suspect that he is looking to cheat, if you are totally unaware of his feelings. I mean, if your relationship was really that empty, then you'd know that too, right?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (18 May 2019):
 I have a few questions of my own.
What were you doing checking his phone messages?
What is your relationship like? Have you got into a rut?
I can't think of any reason why someone would say something like that about their relationship unless they meant it. If you want to work this out, you two need to talk. Stop the accusations, stop the checking up on his messages and TALK.
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