A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help. I don't think I'm gonna hear from this guy again. I really fell for this lad on my adult training course. He's a bit younger than myself, but we sat together and flirted a lot and even caught each other staring at each other from time to time, so I'm convinced we both had feelings for each other. I did for him, certainly.However, the course is now finished and we didn't get time to exchange details or arrange to see each other again, which I'm upset about. The thing is - now he's gone, I can't stop thinking about him. I do know one or two people who know him and could probably get in touch with him for me - but I don't want to scare him away being older and more mature, so feel I would come on too strong. What should I do? "I can't get him outta my head" as the song goes...
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 May 2019):
 You didn't have feelings for each other, you were ATTRACTED to each other. BIG difference.
You don't know the guy. You know that there was chemistry going on but other then that? You don't know. He might HAVE a GF/partner and therefore CHOSE to not ask for your number.
In the day and age, it's a cake-walk to find people. Facebook, twitter, Instagram, Linkedin etc. etc. So the whole "we didn't get time to exchange details or arrange to see each other again" I don't buy.
It was a brief flirtation and that is that.
I would suggest you get out and socialize. Don't look for guy to date or hook up with through work, it's just not smart or professional.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (18 May 2019):
 Sweetheart, there is no such thing as "didn't get time to exchange details or arrange to see each other again". If there had really been something there (apart from a bit of flirting to help pass the time), one or both of you would have made a point of leaving contact details. You both knew when the course was finishing. It's not like it finished suddenly unexpectedly, when you thought you had longer, is it? You probably don't even know much about this lad's personal life. For instance, could he already have a girlfriend/partner/wife? Could he even be gay?
Get out there, get doing things, meet new people, get dating other men. This "lad" will soon become a pleasant memory. Don't use hanging onto hopes about him stop you living.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2019): Ask yourself what you want out of this--be honest. Was it a physical connection or more? Now ask yourself what he would want out of this-would it be the same as you? If its yes, find him on FB, ask your connections about him. Then you have to solve the problems of geography and you're sorted!
Theres literally nothing wrong with looking him up for a jump if it won't hurt you professionally. And if you want more-then that's cool too. He is adult. You are too. There's no harm. In aggressively going after what you want. It's thrilling for a guy if it happens to you, just remember that different ages mean different priorities and don't be too disappointed if he's not where you are in life. Good luck
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