A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,my guy friend and I have been friends for a while and we wanted to take it to a next level but today we had a little spat it's crazy to me but it's whatever.Long story short he has a thing for high yellow complexed women and that's fine but he keeps talking about the relationship between himself and them so I got kind of angry but in a peaceful why and told him I was tired of hearing about his past and if he wants to be with me the past needs to remain in the past.He has baggage I want him to open up but he keeps talking about these women and how the relationship didn't work out.I feel like there is no place in his life for me some I'm thinking of losing his number because I can be with a man who wants me, not needs me. Do you think I did something wrong? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (22 December 2016):
 Sorry, no idea what you mean by "high yellow complexed women" but, if all he does is go on about previous relationships, especially if he blames the women for everything that went wrong, then run for the hills. Eventually he will blame YOU for everything that goes wrong in your relationship.
If you are already having misgivings, you need to listen to your gut and let someone else have the dubious pleasure of his company.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 December 2016):
 I think you need to listen to your gut and lose his number.
Someone who is so enveloped in his past "failed" relationships is not ready to build a NEW and healthy relationshipPicture this in your mind... you and he are walking down the sidewalk and he is constantly looking over his shoulder, which means YOU have to navigate and guide him through EVERY obstacle in front of you. IT gets old.
Another thing is, I am guessing here... "High yellow" is a term for very light skinned mixed heritage women? And you are NOT "high yellow" so you feel he is stuck on a certain "color" of skin, but settled for you because you are SO much more than "just" a "high yellow" skinned woman?
And another guess, YOU have a LOT more to offer a guy that this guy realizes. So FIND a man who APPRICATE you for you. And let THIS guy focus on chasing a standard of beauty that seems to leave HIM in the dust.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (21 December 2016):
 I can understand that you a tired of hearing about his past women. It is very insensitive. All I can suggest is you give him one chance and make all clear, one chance only to tell everything, and then the topic is off limits for good.
No-one wants to live under the shadow of someone else's past. I mean, do you tell him about your ex-lovers real or imaginary? He might get very tired of hearing what super studs they were - rich too some of them. Fantastic!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 Regardless if this man has indicated he wants to take a relationship with you to the next level emotionally he is not ready for it, and wont be until he resolves issues from his previous relationships.
If he still continues after today's "little spat" then accept there is nothing for you here, wish him well and move on. Your life is out there waiting to be lived, leave him to his past glories and go create a future for yourself.
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