A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Andre [32,M] has been my best friend for almost 15 years, we lived together at Arizona, we live together now(only temporarily though). The reason I say temporarily because I have been dating this girl [31,F] for a year now, and we have been talking about moving in together, and I'm totally on board, because I really think she is the one. I didn't let her meet Andre because he can be a little judgmental, he knows that I make a lot of money now so he thinks every girl I date is a gold digger, and he has scared girls off in the past. Last week was the big day, I told Andre about her, and that she was on her way to the house. When she got there, and saw Andre, she said his name before I did. She went in for a hug but he cut her off and shook her hand, turned to me and said "she seems like a great girl, I have to go to work" and left (it was 9pm). I was angry with him for just leaving like that, I apologized to her and said "I don't know what got into him tonight, but how did you know his name?" , that's when she told me that they knew each other VERY WELL, I said "how well" and that's when she told me that they slept together before. She also said that she was really into him but he told her that his dream was to teach elementary school kids and back then she was all about money so she stopped talking to him because teachers don't make money. She said "what do he do now" , I said " teach at an elementary school" she said "awww he is so sweet, he looks great" (that kind of made me mad) . I said "Is this going to be a problem" and she said "no, it's been years, I'm sure he doesn't even like me anymore " . So this morning I decided to talk to Andre about it to let him know I understand why he did that, "hey bro I know why you did that, she told me, and I'm fine with it" , him: "know what, I don't know that girl, she seems nice though", "dude I know lol, she knew your name, and she knew you were a school teacher, " him: "I teach at one of the biggest schools in the state bro, that's public information, I don't know her, I have no reason to lie, I'll catch you later man, we still on for tonight tho so be ready" . Now I'm confused, I'm literally just sitting here thinking, just trying to figure out what's going on, Andre is my brother, and he has never lied to me, and he really has no reason to lie. I'm so confused, need advice on how to handle this!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 It is funny how Andre is judgmental off girls you see in case they are after your money and she left him because she did not think he would make much money. Maybe he new this reason and it hurt him and it has never left him so he has a guard up now protecting you.
Look I don't know why he lied, maybe she hurt him and he does not want to bring it up, or maybe he genuinely forgot about her if she was not important to him. Either way I would just let it go. He must have his reasons. Also if she is only into money then be careful.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 She obviously wrong-footed him when she suddenly appeared in his life again. Maybe it is now difficult for him to admit he lied about not knowing her, so he has to keep up the pretence?
If she dumped him because, in her view, his prospects were not good enough, he could have been badly hurt and may still be quite hurt. In that case, blocking her and pretending he does not know her is easier than admitting to the hurt.
Cut him some slack. Don't press him for answers. Don't rub the relationship in his face. Let him come to terms with the fact you are now seeing this woman.
I would, however, check what her views on money are now. I may be cynical but, in my experience, once a gold-digger, always a gold-digger. Tread carefully.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (14 October 2016):
 Does it really matter that much? It seems to me that pursuing this now is going to cause more friction and upset than it's worth. You probably will get to the bottom of it in time. Just not right now.
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