A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before we got engaged, my fiance told me he "is not obligated to do anything for me". What does he mean by this? Why would he even say this to me ?
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (23 December 2008):
 Any man who wants to marry a woman has a certain amount of obligation. It is best when he wants to give it freely as it should be. If he doesn't feel this way the biggest chance is that he will never follow thru on some of the most important obligations in the marriage. I do see deejuliet's point of view but since he has spoken this with scarciasm he most likely means it just as you have taken it.
I really hope that he will realize what he said hurts badly and will make the effort to accept any obligation that is just in your relationship. Please remember that it goes both ways and be fair in your accessment of the engagement relationship.
If you see that his views aren't changing and he is trying to continue the I'm the Man ...macho attitude that some guys have, I really suggest that you let him go and find someone who will want the obligations that come with.
As often as many things can be percieved other than they are I give My best to you and I pray that things were just misundertood and they can be settled with LOVE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe said this in a sarcastic way. He insisted that he's not obligated to do anything for me.And it's not that I want him to be obligated to me, I just want him to make me feel special, stop making me feel uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (23 December 2008):
 This comment is being taken out of context. Did he just blurt this out with no other sentances or explaination around it? Did you question it at the time? You did say that he told you this BEFORE you became engaged, yet you are now engaged. If he said this and it hurt you so much, why did you become engaged? Does that statement hold true to him now that you are engaged? Or does he feel now that you are going to be married it is differant? I really feel that the answers to these questions is very pertinent to evaluating the situation.
I am going to take a slightly differant take than the other aunts here. Perhaps he meant "I am not obligated to do anything for you. The things I do for you are not because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): After he said that,you are still calling him your fiancee?how about dumping his sorry *** and posting an update on the ex-fiancee.We are all rooting for you here.You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (23 December 2008):
 First..i believe you are WAY too young to get married.
And second...to commit the rest of your life to this JERK?
No thank you. you deserve so much better. Someone who will treat you like a queen.
A husband does not have to "do anything" for their wife...
but he should want to because he loves her dearly.
To have a man say this to you.
he is warning you what you are going to get if you marry him. So if you go ahead and tie the not...don't think that he didn't warn you. Cause he did.
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A
female
reader, Squidgepoo +, writes (23 December 2008):
Dump him. He wants to make sure you're chained to him but he's still free to act any way he wants.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (23 December 2008):
I don't want this to sound harsh but you need to DUMP him straight out! In a realtionship an attitude like his is going to constantly leave you hurting and lonely. He cares too much for himself and I am doubting that he has any real love for you at all. It's strange that if he already feels this way that he would have even proposed.
He surely isn't thinking and acting the way a loving man should who wants to marry you! I do suggest that you rethink his proposal of marriage and walk away while you can still do so without being more taken in by his lack of concern or any real affection on his part.
This certainly isn't a MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!
God Bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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