A
female
age
51-59,
*orothea
writes:Why would a man do this?Theres this man where I work who has really been pushing it with me lately. He initiates conversations with me then starts asking me about whether I watch porn, that I should go browse dvd stores with my partner, and start off with something 'softer' which is what the ladies like. Every time I saw him he would come up to me and ask 'have you been looking for dvds then?' Yesterday he did it again. I told him he is totally innapropriate and his response was one of complete surprise. He said that he could see I was interested and that my face had lit up when he had told me about the dvds and that I 'was asking him about all the different dvds', which I certainly wasnt. I told him in no uncertain terms that I definately did not ask and that I do not wish to discuss these things. Fortunately he then dropped the subject. What Im wondering though is, what does a man hope to achieve through this behaviour? What is the motivation behind it? And is it porn that is making men worse or have they always been like this? I find it disgusting and intimidating.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 If he brings it up again, report him to a boss or someone in some kind of position of authority. This is sexual harassment and needs to stop.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 October 2010):
 What he is doing is considered sexual harassment in most workplaces and shouldn't be tolerated.
What does he hope to achieve?
Hard to say, probably nothing. Maybe he likes making you uncomfortable. It can be fun to watch a girl squirm when she's not comfortable, he may get his jollies that way.
What's his motivation?
He probably likes the topic and wants to talk about it. He may also be trying to make his perversions seem more normal by saying that everyone does it. It really could be anything though.
Is it porn that is making men worse or have they always been like this?
Nope and nope. Not all men watch and like porn. Not all men are like this either. Think about it. How many other men have you met that have come up to you with questions like this? Not many I'm guessing. Try not to generalize us all because of one bad apple. Are there other guys like this? Yup. I can think of one very public case when Clarence Thomas. He is a supreme court justice in the US who had alligations of this behavior brought against him.
Some men are creeps. Some are nice. Everyone is different. Look at all the men you've known and ask yourself if they are all like this creep.
The good news is that you do not need to tolerate this at all. I'm not sure about Great Britain, but in the US this would be enough for a sexual harassment suit. Those are NOT taken lightly. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (14 October 2010):
 I really have no idea, maybe they're just looking for a rise out of you or the satisfaction of thinking they've 'violated' you. I've had strange men start walking next to me while clearly trying to make sure I can see they're holding a pornographic magazine. There are some very weird people out there...
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