A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. so he smokes pot and something else called buddha bud a lot. he says he doesnt do it that much but ive noticed that its a lot. he knows i dont like it. so last night we were texting and here is our conversation:him: do you wanna smoke tomorrow?me: no.. u know i dont smoke...him: i want you to try itme: whyhim: i just want you to try itme: i thought you liked that i didnt do stuff like that?him: i want you to do it.. it will bring me closer to youme: you want me to get high?him: yeah. with me.me: gimme a legit reasonhim: my friend dan smoked with his gf the other day and it brought them closer he saidme: i dont think thats a good ideahim: its a great idea. do it just for the experienceme: idkhim: please babeme: whyyyyyyyyyhim: because im askinme: nothings gonna get accomplished like that... i dont understandhim: i want u to try one of my hobbies so we can talk about itme: ive never done it and dont wanna start...him: u wont get addicted its not like that. me: its bad for youhim: its not weed. its legal.me: why would u want me to do something i dont like youuuuu doing?him: ok then dont.me: now i feel like a bad gfhim: ur a good gf.me: i wanna make u happy... but thats not a good ideahim: told you its a great idea.me: idk..him: i really want to but i wont force youme: ok im goin to bed.him: kWhy would he want me to smoke when I clearly dont want to?! i feel pressured... someone tell me exactly whyyyyy he wants me to get high? please help. thank you.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (5 December 2010):
Why are you even with this guy? It appears obvious to me that your head is on straight and his is not. Sorry if this appears overly negative, but this guy smacks of a go-nowhere loser. You can do so much better.
But to answer your question, he wants you to smoke with him so you A. won't complain when he does it and B. will be more likely to stay with him and not dump him if you drop to his level. That's really all there is to it. Hold to your guns and don't give in, that's my advice.
A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 It may be exactly as he explained. Since he's clearly devoted to smoking these drugs as his hobby or even his lifestyle, then if you joined in, you'd be sharing the same lifestyle and it would bring you closer together, at least in his eyes.
But this kind of thing is not something you should do if you feel ANY reservations or ambiguity about it at all. It's not right when anyone tries to pressure another into doing something that person isn't comfortable with, especially in the areas of sex and drugs.
There are very diverse views on pot. Your bf may indeed see it as harmless or even beneficial, so it doesn't mean he's trying to do something bad to you (from his point-of-view anyway). But tell him you won't stand for being pressured, especially when he already knows you're not into it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): He's 19? Are you sure? You sound more mature than him.
Look if your boyfriend is pressuring you to smoke drugs you shouldn't be with him, it's really that simple.
His reason is because one of his friends girlfriends did it and it brought them closer together?
This guy is an idiot and you sound like a clever girl. Do yourself a favour and drop this loser.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Maybe he feels guilty that he does it so much without you and thinks that if you just start too then you'll be doing it together and it won't be a big deal. But, that is no reason for you to start. You sound like a smartypants and he sounds like a dumbass. All this, "it'll bring us closer, I want you to try one of my hobbies" - bullshit. If you are not interested, that's the end of the story. It won't bring you any closer, really and smoking weed is not a hobby.
Don't let him push you around and make you do stuff you don't want to do. Tell him and be straight, "it really hurts me that you are pushing me to do something I don't want to do. Please stop pressuring me. I'm not going to smoke with you, end of story." and don't waiver. Don't feel like a bad girlfriend - he should feel like a bad boyfriend for pressing you to do this.
Good luck, sweet thing!
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (5 December 2010):
Good one for sticking up for yourself. If you ever want to get stoned it's better to try when you're a bit older because getting high will affect your studies. He is also wrong in that it won't "bring you closer" in fact, his smoking is likely to push you apart.
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