A
female
age
41-50,
*owderedheart
writes:I thought my ex and I were working things out. we were each other's first love, me at 23, and he at 25. We were together for a year, and then on and off for about another year, and then finally it didn't work and moved away from each other, but always kept in touch somehow, both never really being able to move on.Last month, we finally met up for the first time, he said it took a lot for him to meet me, his feelings were hurt by me, and he said it was a really big deal, and i thought things were finally going to work out. I thought i loved him very much, we spent about a week together, I was there for business and he knows i would be back in a few months for business for a few months. We spent our time together like always, it was super affectionate, and he even said that the waiter must have thought we were on our first date, because we kept holding hands and were super affectionate. Now a month has passed and I haven't really heard from him, we had one chat about how my dad took it when i told him we were hanging out again, he was very interested on what my dad had to say, i told him the truth, it was what most dads are concerned about i feel, does he love me and can he support me and if he is stable in life. I've sent him emails here and there and he never really responded to anything.I think i'm at the end of my rope here, I don't know why he just doesnt cut me off. I told him i didn't think i could handle it anymore, being ignored made me feel like crap, and he should let me know if he want's me in his life or not, because what he is doing is not fair to me. and after a few emails, all he said was "take it easy!!! we'll talk this weekend".... this weekend came and we never talked... and i feel this is a cycle, he never communicates, i get upset and we never end up talkin about it... and after so long, i dont understand why we are still doing this. He is such a different person, from the man i fell in love with, and i keep hoping for that guy, but i dont think he's there anymore. So i dont know why after all this time, he can't just make if official, so we can both move on.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 October 2009):
It sounds like he is one of these guys who is crap at communicating.
You either accept that being with him means you constantly don't know where you stand... or you tell him it's not good enough and you CUT CONTACT.
Things clearly haven't changed and he's not prepared to put the effort in where it counts.
It's EASY to be super affectionate and have a great time with someone when they are there with you.
Just stop emailing him. You don't even need to tell him. Just cut contact and decide you WANT to move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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