A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, it's been 3 months now and I only met my bf twice. I understood that he has just been promoted from his job and needs a lot of travel. But then during his free time, he wouldn't at least meet me for an hour or two regardless of the fact that his house is 40 minutes away from mine via train. Sometimes I was even asking him why couldn't he share with me some of his free time and his alibis were: "i need to work, I must visit my bro, and I'm on overseas work now. At first that was fine with me. Though I knew that I wasn't his first priority and what we were having was just a casual relationship, I still went with the flow because I was interested with him. Due to his hectic sched, we just messaged, flirt and shared jokes on phone, but as always, I was the initiator of the conversation. Since we haven't met for two months and rarely talked then, I got bored and bid goodbye to him via message, he seemed shocked and asked "why?" I told him, "you seem avoiding me with all your alibis", he said he wasn't. We never talked for 2 weeks then. 3 days ago, I messaged him asking to delete all my photos in his phone, but he said, "hey sweetie, I have saved them" I didn't answer him wondering if he was thinking we were together yet. He sent another message "are you leaving me?" I said he has no time for me and then he said he needs to focus on his job and he couldn't just spend all his free time for me, and saying that we should keep things casually and no pressuring and blah blah blah (with matching teary emoticon)now, why would he still want to keep the relationship if he has no time for me? I assume he knew that there's no benefit in this kind of relationship, i'm not a big lost to him. I understand his situation, but can't he just sacrifice few of his time for me? And am I pressuring him with what i am asking? Is there any suggestion you can share on what to do w/ this? To stop or to continue? Why and or how? Thanks a lot:)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 stop it now. you don't even need to tell him... cause he's already checked out of the relationship and if you tell him "delete my info" it just spurs him on to beg you to stay...
I would assume he's gone to you and get on with your life.
when he calls and asks to see you... even if you are not, BE BUSY... have no time for him.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 Because when he'll meet someone whom he is really into , he will MAKE time, but for the moment it is easy and convenient and psychologically reassuring having a ready, low pressure or no-pressure " just in case " girlfriend ( ? ).
He is bullshitting you, no job is so demanding that one can't spare one or two hours a week or so. Then again, if he really has such a demanding schedule- then he is no position to ask or offer anything vaguely similar to a fulfilling relationship, he can only do casual ENCOUNTERS. If you aren't a casual encounter type of person- just move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2013):
 End it, find a guy who wants you to be him 1st priority.
My guess is your current guy is stringing you along til he find greener grass (or a girl who lets him do as he pleases). The relationship (as it stands now) IS NOT making you happy so why keep at it? He isn't going to change, he sees no reason.
Move on.
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