A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend (lets call him, George) of 8months and i currently broke up (14th Sept) and i went out the same night and spent time with one of my friends lets call him Pete. So Pete came and picked me up that night because i was upset and feeling miserable, i also suffer from major depression. Then pete and i started spending more time together and im starting to feel like i have feelings for him. As much as i love George, he and i are through and he doesn't want to work it out.The more time i spend with Pete the more i think i like him, then he kissed me. Pete got out of a relationship a couple months ago and he has said he is putting his walls up because he doesn't want to get feelings for me but he does get close with me like kiss my neck and hold my hand and run his hand up my leg and everything, so i know he flirts and stuff but i think i like him. What do i do???! and George keeps verbally abusing me about going out and stuff when he left me and slept with someone like straight up, so i dont get what right he has. but how do i go about George?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2013): You're rushing into another relationship; only because you're trying to get even with your ex. You don't care all that much about the other guy. Your comments just exposed the reason for all this. To show you can mess around with other guys. It's going to backfire.
You'll learn your lesson the hard way. Just toss all advice aside, and have it your way.
As for your mother, maybe she doesn't have time for you. If you dismiss her advice, as you have ours; then I can understand why she may not want to waste her time on someone who doesn't care to listen.
I don't believe she doesn't care. I hear this all the time. My parents don't care. They often give up when they realize they're talking to a stonewall. You can change your relationship with your mom anytime YOU'RE ready. Truth is,
you don't have time for her.
You are trying to keep up with your ex, and show him you can mess around as much as he can.
He can't get pregnant. Guys don't have to defend their reputation for messing around. That's just the way it is.
Decent guys don't screw about, nor do decent women.
He is running the risk of catching STD's. The girls he runs around with will make his life hell; if he get's them pregnant. He's too young to be too serious in a relationship. He isn't your husband. He can do whatever he wants when he is single. So can you.
He can't run from the things he has done wrong to girls. He is not immune to herpes, or HIV. It catches up with each and every guy, or girl, who has ever hurt anyone. What goes around comes around.
No it isn't alright for "anyone" to screw around all over the place; because that's how sexually transmitted diseases are spread. Birth control doesn't protect you from that.
Condoms can't protect you from every type of STD. The frequency of partners and being indiscriminate of the people you're with, increases your risk. You don't know who else they've been with besides you. Raising a child alone, is a big responsibility. It's harder to date and find a new boyfriend.
Hurting yourself is foolish. Slamming the advice given to you out of concern for you, is foolish.
Live life as you choose. It's yours. You came to the site for our advice, and we see a young women about to get her heart broken once again. You are young and I understand how this guy has really hurt you. You are just a very young girl becoming a woman; and life has just started for you.
Not only that, but you're out to break the heart of someone else to prove a point. Trying to make an ex jealous. Just be sure you're prepared to deal with the mess you make of your life.
If rumors get out about you from guys with big mouths and small minds; remember what you read on this site from people who took their time to help you. Just remember there is some nice guy out there waiting for you, when the time is right. You don't want your past to catch up with you and ruin it for you.
All we suggested was that you slow down. Wait to get your feelings under control; because you're hurting after someone broke up with you. Sex comes with huge responsibility, young lady. It's not meant to be used as a weapon against exes.
So now you're plotting revenge, and it could just blow up in your face. You tried to get a quick replacement boyfriend, before getting over another. The people on this site are older and wiser, that's why we take time to help young people like you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo its okay for guys to go out and screw about but not girls?
- also, my mother hardly has time for me and i dont have friends other then pete.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 Who cares what your ex says? He lost that privilege the day he broke up with you. So don't even worry about that. it's a non-issue.
About the other guy. You both seem to like each other. Or at least like to occupy each others time together. A lot of people advocate being completely single and alone until you heal and move on and then date again. But I've found that casually dating helps me to move on. It reminds me that life will go on. you two can continue seeing each other, but just make sure you take it slow and casual. don't have high expectations or anything. Just enjoy each others company and have fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2013): You are heading for more pain then you already have. Stop rebounding with Pete to get even with George. You'll end up more hurt than you already are. You can't breakup with one guy, and run out and look for his replacement a few days later.
You are the classic case of a girl on the rebound. Guys will take advantage of your vulnerability, then word gets out about you in your social circles. Then your grief and depression is heightened by the gossip about your reputation. You aren't feeling anything real for Pete. He's just a quick-fix and substitute for George. He's just your way to be vengeful and spiteful.
Rumors have a very negative and cutting effect on your emotions. So cut out the crap with running around with Pete, or any other guy, to use them like painkillers. It's foolish and will backfire.
Get over George. He's a jerk. So what if he's sleeping around. He's not your boyfriend anymore. You don't feel any better anyway. You're just acting out. You're lying to yourself, and to Pete.
Get a grip. You're not feeling anything that won't end in a couple weeks, or a few days. You're angry, embarrassed, and vulnerable. You're going to hurt yourself. Stop trying to act like a guy. You're not. You're a young woman.
End it with Pete. Tell him you both need to support each other; but give each other time to get over your breakups, so you don't hurt each other. It's easy to make excuses for bad behavior after a breakup. You're not little kids playing tit for tat. You're young adults. So act more mature.
Let yourself get over your breakup naturally. It's painful, but a necessary process. Being very young is to your advantage here; because your relationships are mostly trial relationships. Meaning the brief relationships you have now are preparing your for more mature relationships down the line.
A series of breakups is common in your age-group. However; being reckless and jumping from one relationship to another is heading for trouble. Oh, you'll see the truth behind this advice soon enough. This is advice that proves itself over and over. Even to those of us many times your age.
Slow down!!! You're moving too fast!!!
You'll bump your head and break your heart. Sweetheart, it hurts a lot. You want the sadness and pain to go away quickly. You're human. The miserable feelings just fade away over time.
Meanwhile, you must get to your doctor about the depression; and get whatever treatment that is recommended. Then, be single so your mind and heart have time to heal. You need a break, sweetie!
These guys will be just fine. Take care of yourself and just hang around with some of your girlfriends. Talk to your mother, and seek a little homespun advice with some tender loving care. You'll feel better and the answers will come to you easier and quicker.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2013):
 You take some time with no physical stuff with Pete and take is SLOW SLOW SLOW - you are BOTH on the rebound.
Neither of you are ready for a new relationship.
What do you do about George? Well, he broke up with you so that is over ( I would presume) if not, END it with George. And cut the contact with George. STOP talking to him. Block him, delete him and so forth. You don't owe him a thing.
My advice, NEVER jump from one guy to the next. TAKE some time to be just YOU.
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