A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:???Hey you all out there I just want to ask all the possible reasons a guy would sisterzone a gurl which he initially likedThanks in advance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2020): I was sister zoned by a guy I really liked when I was 18. He was the first guy I liked. He acted like he liked me as well. I later found out he liked someone else and he said to me I am like a little sister to him. I remembered crying my eyes out. I never confronted him about how I felt at that time. As time went by, I found out he was trying to hold on to me, in case he did not get through with that girl. He did end up with the girl but she broke up with him after 5 years of being together. I was in a relationship and had a son. He came to me and said he always loved me and he would accept my son as his own. I told him how I felt and that I loved my bf at that time. Years later, he got married to someone because she got pregnant (I assume). I too got married to my son's father. This guy who sister zoned me, started popping up on my fb messenger and told me he loved me and how beautiful I looked in my pictures while he was married and he knew I was married. He stated his wife does not want to have sex with him. But he rather cheat and stay with his wife for the sake of their 3 children. I told him he acts like I am an opinion, with the first girl, he acted like he was building a foundation with me in case he didn't get through with her. Now his wife lost her sex drive after she had their first born. In my case, he just sister zoned me because he saw me as an option. I would assume for some guys, they may not be attracted to you. But you should confront him and tell him how you feel. Communication is key.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 August 2020):
 Oh many reasons , but basically they all amount to one: because he changed his mind.
Even if the guy initially liked the girl, it does not mean that it was a deep, strong feeling, or even a deep, strong attraction. Young people tend to be fickle, to get distracted easily. They like girl A , for a while, but then girl B, C, and D show up on their radar and girl A gets friendzoned.
Or , they may be distracted by other things, not necessarily other women. But, say, a new circle of friends, an exciting new hobby, -or,simply, the realization that they need to study / work hard and they need to put more time into that that into girls.
Or, he may still sort of like girl A, but he has perceived that girl A is serious and intense in ref. to their relationship, while he instead wants to keep it more casual, relaxed and recreational.
Or ,au contraire,, in a country where arranged marriages still go very strong in every social class... because he realizes that he won't ever be able to offer the girl anything serious, due to difference in caste , religion, etc.- so might as well not be wasting her time and just be friends.
Or, simply, the girl may have overrated how much the boy liked her, just based on the compliments she got or the attentions she received from him. Some guys are just flirty in a casual, natural way, it's their personality but it does not mean much.
Whatever the reason, being " sisterzoned " is not a tragedy. Try not to take it personally, it does not reflect on you, it does not mean that there's something wrong or undesirable in you. Only that a few initial attractions are deep-seated and born to last, but many others are fleeting, rootless and superficiial.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2020): More information is needed here. It's not a black and white answer i'm afraid.
There are many variables to consider, how long have you known him?
Did you like him straight away/act on it straight away?
Have you dated at any point and/or had sexual relations?
For example, if you have known him for a year, and he has liked you for all of that time and you've shot him down. He may have gotten bored and given up.
Similarly if you dated right away and gave him sex right away, he may have taken that as 'got what I want and now i'm bored' stance.
The best way to find out is to ask him, be blunt. Ask him why he liked you and what turned him off. What can go wrong? You already don't have him right so nothing to lose?!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2020): You are learning that sometimes people will change their feelings about you. You are also learning that people may not feel the same-way about you as you feel for them.
Sometimes we outgrow a crush, or misinterpret our feelings at the onset. We may feel a spontaneous attraction to a person; but those feelings stop at a certain point. The feelings may never become a lasting deep affection leading to romance; but we still care for them, with a platonic kind of deep-affection. We cherish or treasure them as a friend.
Our feelings can be changed or influenced by the things we see in people. We may notice certain habits, attitudes, actions, or personality-traits that don't fall inline with someone we'd want as a romantic-partner. Yet they check all the boxes as a friend. If a guy grows-up with a girl, she can start to feel like a sister; and he, like a brother to her. That's the way things go sometimes. Love has a way of defining itself; and what kind of love it wants to be towards another person. You can't dictate how your heart feels, it has a mind of it's own. All you can do is make sure your feelings are directed in the right-place.
You can't read his mind, so you don't know if his feelings were ever truly romantic; unless he told you so. That might have changed as time passed. If you don't want to be sisterized, or placed in the friend-zone; you can disconnect, cut all ties, and move on. You don't have to accept being "sisterzoned," if you don't want to; but you can't force him to feel otherwise.
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