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Why would he say he's happier when he's really not?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *ixieGwen writes:

My ex and I got together last night to watch a movie at the house.One thing lead to another and we had sex.He initiated it *he knew previously that I wouldnt be against/weird out cos of it or think we're together*.During - he seemed like he was holding back a bit.The night b4 We had a discussion bout our relationship/y we broke up etc and he claimed hes happier*broke up 2 wks ago*.But after sex last night he talked bout work/was frustrated/bothered and mentioned hes been having nightmares and hasnt slept well in 4 days and said its been a shitty cpl of wks *hes been having financial/work probs*.(Even though he claimed the night before "im happier")At the end of the night he was tired and seemed like he was rushing me out the door - so i told him that and he said he wasnt.He asked me to msg when I got home - which I did and that was it. Today he msged me and said "just so u know, I wasnt tryin to rush u out the door last night.anyway how are you?" i asked if he was weirded out and said he need not be. He said that he "feels a lil weird but mainly cos he knows how these kinds of situations can turn out 90% of the time it ends badly but thats all" I told him not to feel weird(didnt seem weirded out considering it happened twice lol), its just sex and if it were to turn into more - itd be upto him.

Why would he say hes happier when it seems hes really not.Why feel weirded out or worry..when I didnt act weird? Im just surprised that he seems to be worryin about this and the fact he felt the need to make sure that I knew he wasnt tryin to get rid of me/rush me out last night.I honestly would like us to get back together but I def dont count on it/just wishful thinkin -I never assume things or try to push things.*we broke up cos he thought maybe he didnt wanna be in a relationship/hes fickle or that he didnt feel it anymore-whether it was the relationship or me but then again he gave me 50 other reasons why we broke up and also said he was unsure and we both agreed we didnt wanna date others*

View related questions: broke up, get back together

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (23 July 2009):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony aunthe IS kind of an emotional wreck. i told him hes welcome to vent to me anytime..( i do care about him and whats goin on in his life) apparently his fam doesnt listen to him.. (not my fault) but still.emotionally im tryin to move on.. the sex doesnt ruin it for me or make it difficult..

i just wish he would get his shit together..or take meds or something.. argh lol.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (23 July 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntawww thats to bad you seem like a nice girl.. this guy of yours is an emotional wreck dont pay him any attention you cant help him he needs a professional, so dont drive yourself crazy worrying about it if you enjoy the sex with him fine stick to that dont go back with him and dont worry about his problems hes a grown man his little boy games are beneath you and his emotional issues are beyond you if he wanted your help he would ask, time to move on.

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