A
female
age
51-59,
*ull moon temptress1
writes:I'm so confused about my boyfriends behaviour.We have been going out for 2 yrs.I liked him because he wasn't controlling,he didn't demand anything off me.Sex is amazing,and he is the perfect gentleman.We are both individual and both have male and female friends.I have an eight yr old daughter who is my nu 1 propriety.He doesn't want children and has no intention of having any.He occasionally spends time with my daughter,and seems to enjoy her company,but those times are far and few between.Recently it was my daughters 8th birthday.My exdaughters dad and a few friends all went bowling.I partner knew this.The next time i saw him,he told me the night of my daughters birthday, him and a friend meet up with two women of which he works with.One of these women has been after my partner for mths,sending him texts etc.He has told me of her before,and he has been honest about that.However he has told me that he doesn't like this girl.She has broken up relationships in the past.My question to him is why arrange to meet up with this girl if you don't like her????I'm ok with female friends he has but why with a girl he doesn't even like??Can anyone shed any light onto this for me.I want to end the relationship,not because he has cheatedmy gut feeling he hasn'tWhy play games!!!!
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female
reader, Full moon temptress1 +, writes (27 February 2011):
Full moon temptress1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice,firstly he wasn't going to come out to my daughters birthday,it would of been to much stress having my partner and my ex there.If my partner had been more involved in my daughters life i would of invited him.As it was he didn't even send her a birthday card.
It was him who arranged to meet this other women,my feeling is he was jealous of the fact i was seeing my ex.My ex and i get on ok for the sake of our daughter,but thats it.
The very fact he cannot tell me the reason why he went out with this girl,all he says is its complicated,thats the only answer i get.My friends think he is playing mind games with me because he is jealous of my ex.I feel i have had enough of this,as i don't trust him anymore.
A
female
reader, TheFurFiles  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Two people are out shopping for pets. One (a guy) is standing at the window of Pete's Pet Emporium admiring the adorable Labrador puppies. Another person (a woman) is standing right beside him fawning over four little Bengal kittens. "Those puppies are so cute, aren't they?" the guy says to the woman. "Actually no. I was looking at the cats." "Oh, I hate cats," the guy replies. Disgusted, they give each other dirty looks before heading off to the cash to pay for their selections. Just like the pet people, you and your so-called "boyfriend" are on two completely different paths. Not only that, but any "boyfriend" worth his salt would've been out with you for your daughter's birthday, not out with his friend and some known floozy. I know it's sometimes hard to see the forest for the trees, especially when you are right in the middle of things. But if you want someone with whom to share your life, I'd say, this is NOT the guy. Good sex or not, get rid of him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Was this the first time he's meeting your expartner?
If it is, he might be have decided to bring an easy date as personal back up. I know that sounds bizarre, but he might be afraid of getting into a situation between you, your ex, and him. Having another woman there who at least fawns over him might ease the tension, put him on a more equal social footing with you, and make him feel more secure. In all honesty, it sounds like he still takes her texts because it strokes his ego, not because he likes her. He probably felt incredibly nervous about being in a situation where he was the odd man out.
I'm not saying this is logical or fair, but it might be a reason to have a talk and ask him why he wanted her there.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (26 February 2011):
 For some strange reason it seems like he chose to go out with this woman because he knew how much it would bother you. Maybe he was jealous that were going to be out "having fun" with your ex...
Or maybe he was just at lose ends the night of your daughters B-day party, bored with nothing to do and accepted the invitaion to go out after work without really thinking it through. You'd have to ask him to be sure.
But that one incident wouldn't be a deal breaker for me as much as the fact that he has made no effort to bond with your daughter since you have been seeing him. Which tells me he never had any intentions of joining the family on a more permanent basis.
Maybe what you two have right now is enough for you, and that's fine but if its not then I believe your going to have to dump him and look elsewhere for a man thats not afraid to make a long term committment to both you and your daughter.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): He obviously doesn't dislike her that much or he wouldn't blow off a family event to go party with her. He's taking you for granted. Don't waste anymore time with him and find someone who loves you and your daughter.
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A
male
reader, RichW +, writes (26 February 2011):
Can I first start by saying that men dont usually have problems with partners children that are not thier own, however, some men are just not into children, especially if they are an only child themselves.
With regards to going out with other women even from work is not really exceptable, especially as you were not aware of it until after the event. He is though a gentleman and he maybe just a sucker for a bad luck story and we all like to be knights in shining armour. There is probably a facination there so you should manage the situation fairly. Explain your concerns to him and paint a picture for him as if it was you doing it and 'how would he feel?'. He may just be doing something he feels is innocent.
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