A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Everyone says that teenagers get crushes, especially at my age, most of my friends get a crush for a few months, get bored and move on. How come that I have been in love with the same guy for six years then? Ive had no other feelings for anyone else. I've posted on here before and people have just told me that I need to move on from him, get a new crush blah blah blah. I haven't moved on, but he thinks that I have, which I did for him. He didn't feel the same way and i accepted that. However he did keep pestering me to kiss him when he found out which left me a little confused. I didn't kiss him but he kept pestering me so I did. We were each others first kiss and that was really special to me and it appeared to him too. He said he didn't fell the same way but I wasnt sure, but I let him move on and think that I had because I love him too much to burden him with knowing that my feelings were still there. He's had two girlfriends since our kiss and it absolutely kills me. But I want him to be happy and I want the best for him and I don't want to come off as a jealous bitch. I just want some closure. Would he keep pestering me for a kiss if he didn't like me? I don't intend to act on it and unearthing everything because we get on well and he's happy and that's what I need to see even though seeing him flirting with other girls is absolute agony. I have my friends who know it still love him but I trust them not to tell him, they know how important it is to me. Thanks xx
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crush, flirt, jealous, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. It's not that I don't want to move on, I want nothing more. Who in their right mind would want to be in this situation? It's just that I can't SEEM to move on anyway I try. But you're right, and thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): OP one thing you'll learn as you get older for a lot of people they don't need to like you in that way to want to kiss you or bang you. Especially us guys most of us will do almost anything that walks in the right circumstances.
I think Karlos is wrong in one way OP, this guy didn't use you, you've lied to him over and over again and told him that you have moved on, so he did nothing wrong in asking you for a practice kiss. I assume he's only your age and probably doesn't have much experience.
You however are screwed, really in one of the most fucked up situations I've ever heard because you refuse to let go and actually move on.
You have serious issues OP, 6 years is a hell of a long time to cause yourself this much pain. I mean what would you do if you have this growth on your back that was agony? I'd go to doctor and get it removed, it seems you'd rather have it there and hope that by completely ignoring it that it will sort itself out. You'd rather have a huge festering mental tumour than to live a life free from all the pain it causes you.
Why? Do you really hate yourself that much?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): This looks as though its gone beyond a crush. Yes crushes come, but also wear off again after the realization that things aren't going anywhere with the crush. You however, know he doesn't feel the same and that it isn't going anywhere, yet you continue to maintain a fixation on him and refuse to let go and move on, that's kind of obsessive. Its unlikely to be love, because love is a mutual feeling between two people, that develops and grows within a relationship, you two aren't and never have been In a relationship, you only had a kiss.
Yes I agree, he probably used you for a practice kiss, he knew you liked him and would go ahead with it, it happens. It was one kiss, there will be plenty more in life with someone who feels the same way about you, and you'll be happy together. Then you'll realize the difference between a crush and real genuine love.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 He could have been pestering you to get some experience, so he could more properly kiss other girls in his life. You've heard of "friends with benefits"? Well...this seems like your case to me except you are not having sex, but sharing kissing experiences.
I detect a bit of bitterness that you don't agree with people telling you to move on. If you want to continue to obsess over him and his reasons for doing things, that is your business, but remember that you are choosing to put yourself through the agony you describe when you see him flirting with other girls. He has told you he isn't interested.
This kiss situation would be like a guy telling me he wasn't interested in a relationship, but asking if we could have sex and I agreed. It would be my fault for allowing it and staying emotionally attached to someone who has made his intentions clear.
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