A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I know who I like a lot, and a while ago I plucked up the courage to let him know. At the time he was adamant that he wasn't interested in that way but was fine about it, and said he still wanted to be friends. Recently, though, I seem to have been getting mixed signals.We only really ever see each other in public settings, but sometimes he seems to go out of his way to talk to me and is really friendly etc, and then another time he will almost act as if I'm not there and even if I talk to him he doesn't seem interested in saying much back.When he told me he only wanted to be friends I fully accepted it and I've never done anything since to make him think that I'm still interested, so I'm really confused as to why he's being like this. I've sometimes heard people say it's a sign that a guy likes you if they act hot and cold towards you, but don't really know how true that is.Of course I would jump at the chance if he had changed his mind, but if that is the case I can't understand why he doesn't say something instead of carrying on this way.Would really appreciate any thoughts on the situationThanks in advance!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): Blowing hot and cold - don't read anything into it. Ignore this behaviour. If anything he is being mean. For your own sense of worth and self esteem - don't spend any time hoping something may come of this. If he liked you in that way he would have said when you brought it up.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (22 November 2012):
 Hi
He sounds like sometimes he wants his ego boosted,like 'oh I know who will talk to me' type of thing.
As he made it clear he wants to be friends from the start I would just continue to treat him as one.He isn't about to change his mind or he would have asked you out, not just passed the time of day.He knows you like him.
Has he got any nice friends..
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 November 2012):
 Totally false. Well, maybe it can be true for goofy teenagers . But for adults, if a man blows hot and cold, you may be sure that the interest is non existent or lukewarm at best. Probably when he blows hot is because he thinks you may be worth a quick roll in the hay or two.. then he blows cold because he thinks, nahhh, she is going to get the wrong idea and want a relationship.
There is no such thing like mixed signals , actually - unless the man is patologically shy or socially dysfunctional. A normal , well adjusted adult won't have any particular trouble to let you know what he wants , if he wants it. Same as he was quite clear about just wanting to be friends. If he had changed his mind, I think he'd be equally inequivocable.
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