A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fella is separated from his wife and lives apart, but yesterday I saw a photo in of his wife on Facebook with her friends and he pressed " like" on it....I was a bit stunned, why would he want to do that? Should I be worried?
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (18 October 2015):
 I think this is where so many people go wrong for two reasons.
Firstly
"Separated" does not mean single. It means they are still married to someone, in a relationship with someone - which may be good, bad or indifferent. But it is still a relationship.
Until the divorce papers are signed and sealed, they are still linked, emotionally, financially whether you want to accept it or not.
Are they actively divorcing or just separated? Are either of them seeking divorce lawyers or are they just plodding along?
I always wonder about people who separate, but don't divorce. If I wanted to break ties with someone I would want it over as soon as possible.
Secondly
It is only Facebook. People now put so much importance on what happens on facebook. But really, it means diddly squat.
This issue has sparked your anxiety button, because you fear your position is not as secure as you think. It shows up trust issues in your relationship.
The key here is communication..... you need to talk to him and find out exactly where your relationship is going. Is he getting a divorce, or is he just stringing you along?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2015): Maybe he is just glad to see she's having a good time with her friends rather than stressing over their separation. He likes seeing her happy, and that doesn't necessarily mean he still has feelings for her. After all, he "liked" a group picture, not a picture of just her. I think the like button means nothing, to be honest. For me, it's just a way of acknowledging I saw someone's post. If I really liked it, I'll leave a comment instead of a like.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2015): You're asking us? Why not ask him? Go ask him straight-up.
Unless you were snooping around, go to him and ask if he still has a thing for his separated spouse. Technically he is not yet divorced, and you are only dating at this point.
He may be undergoing what's considered an amicable divorce.
Everyone goes their separate ways on good terms. It makes it easier on everyone, especially if there are children involved. Before you're ready to get your hackles up; start practicing good old-fashioned communication, and ask him what's on his mind. Then you can make judgements based on facts and not speculation or suspicion. If you feel he isn't being honest, you have the option to leave him.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (18 October 2015):
Get this in perspective: it’s Facebook and he pressed a button. Perhaps he thought it looked a nice picture of friends enjoying themselves, or perhaps it was a funny picture? Or perhaps he even did it in error. People don’t take this button very seriously because, well, it’s just a button. Perhaps he still gets on well with his ex, and perhaps he is also friends with some of the people in the photo. If your relationship is otherwise good and there are no other causes for concern, I’d forget about it.
I wish you all the very best.
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