A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My babies daddy lied to me about being in a relationship with someone else. Then we slept together. When I found out about her, he still denied he was in a relationship until she told me directly. Now our whole friendship is shattered, he can't even speak to me when he picks the kids up. My friends and family tell me it's because he still loves me and she is just something to make me jealous, but I don't know if I should believe it or not. Why would a man do this, especially when there are kids involved?
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (14 October 2011):
 Because he is a man, ant that's what they do when you LET them.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 October 2011):
 Pretending to be single is an odd way of triggering your jealousy, don't you think? He concealed his relationship because he didn't want you to know about it, ergo, he was not trying to make you jealous. He was trying to ensure you'd be receptive to sleeping with him again. Some people think having sex with an ex doesn't count as cheating, especially when they have children together. This does not mean he loves you so much he is willing to sneak about to be with you. It means he is comfortable enough with someone else not to leave them for you, but happy to stroll down memory lane now and then.He can't look you in the face now because he is ashamed at having been caught with his pants down, so to speak. That and he now has to be extra careful in his dealings with you lest he rouse his girlfriend's suspicion again.Whether or not he still has even remote feelings for you is anyone's guess, but either way it matters not. He is with someone else now so I wouldn't spend much time thinking about it. I strongly advise against trying to talk to him about this. There is nothing to be gained and it will cause more problems than it will solve. His girlfriend doesn't need to be subjected to details of his indiscretion and she definitely won't take kindly to you two having any more alone time. Leave this be and let time sort it out. If you act normal (pleasant but formal) with him, he will eventually be the same way with you.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 October 2011):
Hi there. Was he still married when you met?
Then you found out about it.
So now you have children, and he picks them up and takes them out.
Have you had a proper discussion with him about it? Because it seems that nothing has really been talked about very thoroughly. Other than a part admission by him, that is.
As you now have children together, well then that's all the more reason for you and him to sit down together and discuss exactly what is happening here. And what is true and what is not.
All your cards and his cards need to be laid out on the table and talked about in detail.
Because the bottom line now is, you need to know precisely where you stand in all this.
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