A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi people here is my problem I met a man at the beginning of the year who I really liked I thought he felt the same but he just wanted a fwb sort of thing so as I liked him that much I hoped it would turn into something more so that was that anyway last week he asked me if I fancied going out as he had the night off work but I couldn't go as I was working and I'm a single mum to a 3 year old boy so he was fine with that and a couple of days later I saw him talking and flirting with a woman that lives near us we live close by and he totally blanked me which upset me a bit so I walked past him and on the way back home he was stood on his front and he said hiya then when that lass had gone so I said hiya and walked past because I was upset about him blanking me and that was 11 days ago and we have not spoken since I texted him earlier on today I just said are you still speaking to me and I got no reply so who is in the wrong here me or him we live 30 seconds away from each other thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 October 2011):
Hi there. FWB's aren't really a good idea, if you want a meaningful relationship, that is.
These liaisons are usually pretty shallow and meaningless to the woman. There is no commitment by the man, as you've seen for yourself.
Don't bother texting him anymore, because he then knows he has control over you, so will probably take you for granted even more than he does now.
He will stick around with you, just as long you keep on saying "Yes" - to sex with him. If you said no, he might still hang about for a while, and then still be having FWB's with other women also. To keep his options open.
He might have a phobia about commitment. Seems like it. It's probably the reason for FWB's in the first place. Fun without the responsibility of commitment. So then, there's no risk of him getting hurt.
It's not that unusual really.
I guess it really comes down to how do you really feel about him - honestly?
(1) Does he treat you well, and with respect and dignity?
(2) Does he take you out to nice places and spend money on you?
(3) Do you have interesting discussions about life, hobbies, etc.?
(4) Do you think he likes you? Apart from the fact you give him sex, I mean.
(5) Does he give you gifts - birthday, St Valentine's Day?
(6) Does he give you gifts for no reason - flowers or chocolates occasionally, just because he likes you?
(7) Does he swear in front of you?
(8) Has he asked you meet his family?
There's so many things that point to a man caring about the woman he's dating - or not.
It's not really a case of someone being "in the wrong", as you say, it's more likely to be a case of circumstances - the FWB thing again. Which to him, translates to no commitment and no exclusivity either. Not much at all really, well except for sex of course.
It really depends on how highly you think of yourself and your own needs. And if you feel you are being treated well and with some consideration being given to your feelings.
This is something only you can answer.
It depends on what you really want from this liaison with this man. If you see a possible future with him, or not.
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