A
female
age
41-50,
*alvarez
writes:To start off I am 27 years old I just got married 3 months ago to a Cristain man that I have known for about 1 1/2 years. I had a problem the time a met him and he has been a blessing in my life but we do not have anything in common. There are times I want to see my family or friends and have a couple of drinks to laugh and vent of course! He will not let me go alone nor go alone! He is primarily from Mexico and I am Mexican American we have different mind set. I have been so used to taking care of myself (independent)for so long that I am not used to someone always on my back asking me questions. I have a 5 year old son with a previous relationship and my son sometimes likes him and sometimes he don't. I have tried to do what is right and just work things out but I am not happy either way it goes. He wasn't so much like this before we got married now he is worse. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dalvarez +, writes (15 October 2009):
Dalvarez is verified as being by the original poster of the question This is what happend last night. I went to my mothers last night to see how she was doing and when I got home he was so upset looking for me everywhere and he said he was going to leave me... I gave him the chance to leave and he wouldn't. I am so sick then I woke up this morning and he was in my face just staring at me! I got so scared... What is really going on?
A
female
reader, LallaZine  +, writes (15 October 2009):
 I am in the same situation right now so I can kind of relate to what you are saying, especially the bit about him being a blessing because of the time that you met him but that you have nothing in common, plus I am British born and so have a different attitude to the guy I know, we are ethnically the same but world's apart. Totally different mentality.
Think of it like this, if anyone makes you feel bad, jealous, guilty, upset etc. Then they are not worth it.
A man who empowers you, respects you, allows you to be free - is worth it, but I admit, is hard to find.
A man will do to you what you let him. Dont let him ruin your chances in life. Did you have future plans before you met him?....countries you wanted to visit...things you wanted to do in life.... And do you think you will be able to do them with this guy? If the answer is no, then you have to leave. Life is too short. It is your life, not his. Leave while you can, do it for your little boy and for yourself and dont allow him to make you feel guilty or like you owe him something. You can control your own destiny to a certain extent, so take control. You're independent, so you can do it. Good luck.
I'm here to talk if you need to. All the best.
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): Why did you marry him if you had nothing in common? Anyways that's not important this guy is way to controlling he's very insecure he must have been through cheating relationships. Questions are ok in a marriage but this man is trying to take complete control over you. If you feel like it's worth saving your marriage try to get him to go to marriage counseling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): I thought spanish man are controlling, cause my ex is Puerto rican.And he is so contolling.He seen like he love you.So, its your decition to be with him or not. If you are indepandent and you can take care of yourself so move on.If you are not happy with your marriage.So, good luck
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