A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I split with my boyfriend last month after 2 years together. I thought as we had mutually decided that our relationship wasn't working, I would ask him if there was someone else as by then I thought I might as well ask him (he had been distant, occasionally tetchy, postponing dates with me, and telling me that he had got rid of a mobile phone which it turned out he hadn't done as he was still using it to send texts). However, despite me asking him twice about whether there was someone else he has not answered. Do you think that by the fact he won't answer this question that he was, indeed, cheating on me? Or is he not answering me because he is offended that I asked him in the first place?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): he just dont respect u enough to even respond to your question!That in itself is enough to tell u to let go and move on.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 January 2010):
Sorry, but he's moved on. Whether he's seeing anyone or not, the best thing you can do for yourself now is to end contact and move on from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): I am the original poster of the question. I don't think I made myself very clear. It was at the time that we were on the verge of splitting up that I asked him if he had been cheating on me. I had hoped that he would answer me, and that maybe we could sort things out. I haven't heard any response from him since then and just presumed from his non-communication that we had split up and that he had been seeing someone else while he was seeing me.
His distant behaviour, tetchiness etc was in the run-up to the split which is why at the end of our relationship I asked if he had been with someone else.
I think it totally was my business to know if had been cheating as we were just about still together when I asked him.
We haven't remained friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): I'm not clear on your question. You broke up 2 months ago, but he was distant since then and canceling dates on you? Why were you still dating if you were broken up, and then you ask if his non answer meant he was cheating on you, so were you still sleeping with him?
If you were doing all that, then yes I think he owes you the truth so that you don't get hurt all over again...if you weren't seeing each other and perhaps trying to repair your relationship, then no, he doesn't have to tell you anything, although I think it would be better if he did in a respectful way, so that you can see he is moving on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): I agree with Lexie, so there is no use in repeating anything.
If you had asked him when you decided to break up then I suppose he might have owed you an answer, as it was while you were together. Now that it's been a month I think you should just forget it and move on.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (14 January 2010):
 He's not answering you because it's none of your business. You two are not together anymore, and if you've remained friends it doesn't mean he has to tell you anything he doesn't want to. You guys are no longer in a relationship and he doesn't owe you anything.
I don't think it's cheating or anything like that...he just doesn't see the need for you to know. He's keeping you out of his life...so maybe you should leave him alone as well.
I hope you don't find my answer insulting but even if this was a mutual breakup you still seem hung up on him. He's not your boyfriend anymore, and I suppose it's difficult after two years to let go completely, but he's got his own life now and there is no need for you to ask who he's with or anything like that.
If he thinks you need to know he will tell you.
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