A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:why wont my boyfriend make love to me? im 56 and he is 59, we have been together now for a year. i care about him deeply and hope that we can spend the rest of our lives together. we get along great other then this one thing. he wants other sexual favors but wont have intercourse with me. ive tried several times to talk to him about it and all he does is make a joke out of it and laughs. please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 There maybe a problem he is experiencing that then result in lack of sexual intercourse and he is probably too embarrassed to share with you and that is probably why he laughs and jokes about it.Maybe if you let him know you're there for him and if he needs to talk about anything you're ready to listen and help if you can.Men i feel have a lot of pride and when it comes to things like that it can really knock you for six causing you to lack confidence in yourself and your ability to perform.Something may have happened in the past in order for him to have lost confidence maybe a partner said he was no good at making her orgasm or he didn't push the right buttons all these can really decrease a persons self confidence.Try and help build his confidence up you should try and talk with him and if begins laughing just let him know you know it's tough but that you're in it together and you'll achieve a lot more when you're open with each other because you then know how to help each other better when you know what the problem is.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 After age 50 we men produce less and less testosterone and those muscluses "down there" begin to fail us. He may be embarrassed regarding the lack of "volume" of release and the reduced plesure he gets in the whole act. It actually can produce pain to not have the quantity of semen once released.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 There may be physical reasons, as the other aunts have suggested. Keep that in mind, but don't get caught up in providing all the sexual favours and getting nothing in return.
You haven't said anything about reciprocity. If he can receive favours there is obviously nothing stopping him from giving them out too.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 September 2012):
 Yep, it could be EDD, even if he maintains an erection during oral sex or masturbation. EDD would be psychological for him and be tied to performance anxiety or some other emotional holdout related to some past baggage.
This is a tough one to advise, because coming out and saying to him that you wonder if it's EDD carries the same emotional taboo as it is for a guy to discuss a woman's weight. It's that sensitive.
Rather, I think you need to have a talk with him about what intercourse means to you, and ask him what it is that impedes him from having it with you. Don't pressure him, because like any other relationship, you can't press for sex until he's ready.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 September 2012):
 He may have some kind of erection dysfunction disorder that he is afraid or embarrassed to tell you about. Some men with EDD can still get an erection but may have trouble maintaining it during intercourse and this can cause embarrassment. Some men see seeking help for this as humiliating.
If you know 100% that he doesn't have EDD or some other kind of medical condition, it could be that he just isn't that into intercourse...either way you need to have a talk with him and let him know he has a safe forum to discuss with you and to possibly get help.
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