A
female
age
30-35,
*manda05x
writes:Okay, so I am wondering. Why is it that I ALWAYS have to get it going? In order to have sex, why can't he ever do it?And how can I make it more comfortable to give him a bj? I mean I used to swallow but one day it was just so much that I gagged. How can I prevent that?
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 November 2009):
 In regard to gagging on large ejaculations, I agree that position can possibly make a difference. The anon male reader's advice may be one way (kneeling), and another is similar to the doggie position reversed.
I'll try to describe. The female assumes the doggie position at the end of a couch or on a bed. It may also work on a the floor (with rug or padding), but I don't recall trying that. The man stands before her inserting. The position naturally extends her neck, which means that her throat is straightened.
In my experience with women who tried this position, the ejaculation easily shoots straight down, whether released shallow or more deeply. It seems to be much easier for the woman to accept, probably because there is no bend (angle) to the upper throat and esophagus. Simply goes straight in.
Based on input from several partners (I will not divulge how many), the position can also minimize taste if released deeply, because the ejaculate bypasses most of the tongue's flavor buds, if that is an issue. Just hope that may be a useful suggestion based on experience.
A
female
reader, amanda05x +, writes (19 November 2009):
amanda05x is verified as being by the original poster of the question Okay, thanks for the advice so far. But there's only one weird thing about him being sorta scared to initiate sex.
We have been together for 4 years.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): Many men carry a lot of baggage with them into a relationship, based upon their mother's teachings. Often they are taught to respect women and not make advances on them until they are in a loving serious relationship that is heading toward marriage.
For me I never made the first move on a girl. Of course I wanted sex, but in my mind I did not want to be disrespectful and force the issue. So usually after the third date or so my date would unzip me and I knew she was into sex and that was my green light. I figured if she made the first move on me then I could not get accused of using her just for sex if the relationship went bad after that. I know... baggage from mom.
Your second question has two parts. Kneeling may be the most confortable position, based upon what my g/f does. She says she likes giving head, but not so much when I am laying down (it hurts her back).
If you are trying to avoid the cum, the best way to find out when he is about to ejaculate is to feel his balls. They will pull up very close to his body as he gets closer to ejaculating. If you feel the base of his penis shaft you will feel it pumping as he is cumming.
If you are trying to eat his cum, but don't want to choke, then as you feel him start to cum suck very gently on the head of his cock as he is ejaculating. You will certainly choke if you are deep throating him and he cums.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): BL advice. Your options are....
1. Learn to like the taste.
2. Keep a tissue nearby and discreetly spit it into the tissue
3. Ask him to tell you when he's going to come and to ejaculate on his stomach, not in your mouth - all perfectly acceptable.
I've been in your situation with the starting sex. It's tedious. Try to talk to him about it. Men often don't realise how down women feel about themselves and how we need them to make us feel desirable!! Or you could try not initiating sex for a few weeks and then see if he makes more effort!! (as long as you're willing to hold off for that long!)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 November 2009):
He might be very shy about sex, more than you realize, or terrified that you won't be in the mood, or that you'll judge him or anything like that. Why don't you try talking to him (very gently, his ego might be fragile) and say you'd like him to take charge a bit more. As for the BJ question, only another woman can answer that. But from a male point of view about initiating sex, it can be a bit daunting if we're nervous or we feel that we're going to be told 'no', so maybe he's afraid of rejection too. Talk to him gently about it.
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