A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:why wont he make love to me? my partner of 3 months wont or cant make love to me. he is 36, im 23 and without sounding pig headed im a good looking slim girl. I never turn him away. when we first met it was every night and day, now when i try to turn him on, nothing happens downstairs.. or if it does, he will enter me, then pull out almost immediately with an excuse like he needs the loo or his back hurts??? iv confronted him, says its because hes scared i mite hurt him by leaving etc.. im so confused as he will give me foreplay every night, but it stops there for some reason???
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): i fell in love with a guy at work that had a relationship of 10yrs. He fell in love with me too, but said he loved the woman, but as a sister, and needed some time to end things. (yes we both felt guilty, and i didnt know the woman) For 6 months we didnt have sex at all, he couldnt get a erection. In 10 months, we were "together", we had sex 3 times. I though he had some kind of physical problem, cause he always would make a excuse...
After he ended the relationship, and we could be a "couple", our sex life changed up side down. He could get it up just fine, and we had the most amazing sex.
We never talked about it, but i think while he was "cheating" he felt so guilty, he couldnt do it being w her. It was guilt.
So, men do have feelings, and maybe yours is telling the truth.
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (30 October 2009):
 This is just weird! Guys don't do this if their not seriously messed up. Stop trying to work him out and tell him to service you properly or get lost!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): sounds like he has feelings for you but is afraid to let go, because then he would not be in control enymore.he proably is seriously in love with you, but such feelings are new territory to him, so he freaks out.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (30 October 2009):
 Well, He has told you exactly whats up. Either you take what he says to heart or you think he is lieing.
I can tell you though that if he is not lieing, he may have commitment intamacy issues that have not been resolved from his last relationship. This can actually turn him off sex. He may very well be scared of becoming intimate and attached to you for fear you may leave him.
If he is lieing there could be a whole number of reasons why he is unable. However pressure to perform may hinder further his ability and therefor becomes a vicious cycle of depression and feeling less and less worth the partner you are with.
All you can do is sit him down with his first answer and explore that further. Ask him questions that are not loaded or opinionated to show your dissatisfaction, but rather your concern about his well being.
He says he scared you might leave him.
1)Ask him, why he would think that?
2)Ask him, Have you done anything to suggest that you would want to leave him?
3)Ask him, Does he trust you?
(If he says yes)
Then tell him, if he trusts you then there is no reason to be scared. That you are being honest and sincere with him and where there is honesty, there is light. Where there is light there are no hidden intentions and he will not beleft in the dark to wonder about intentions that arent there.
(If he says no)
You are going to have to ask him why he does not trust you. You will have to tell him that for a good solid foundation to a relationship there must be mutual trust or it will not work. Either he learns to trust you or he cant be with you. Simply put, why would you be with someone who doesn't trust you.
Talking with him sincerely and frankly will always unearth things he may have felt ashamed about. If you are understanding he may realise his fears were misplaced and this relationship can be salvaged.
HonningKanin
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A
male
reader, weparley  +, writes (30 October 2009):
"Sound's Like you have a serious problem on your hands"Seriously" It's time to turn Into Sherlock Homes. "The Man is Cheating" with another women or he's secretly gay" I say what I'm saying with no takebacks. NO MAN!!...I mean NO MAN is going to act with that kind of strange behaviour without him having some kind of deep hiddin guilt/secret or remorse of some kind. It's time to to have a SERIOUS talk.. Red Flags went up 3 weeks ago (meaning you're pass due for a talk)It sounds like he cheating though... I'm 110% sure of that. The heck what others say. NO MAN!! acts that way just outta the sky blue for nothing... "THEY DON'T!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): maybe he wants to get to know your personality?
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