A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been with my partner for almost three years now. We are about to buy our first house together. However, he still has his ex partner's name tattooed on his arm. I know they did not split up amicably and wonder why he doesn't get rid of it. I told him that it bothered me about eight months ago, but he says he can't afford to get it removed unless I pay for it and he doesn't want to cover it up with another tattoo. It really bothers me that he isn't prepared to do this one thing for me. Do you think it is a sign that I should not be moving in with him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): We are all connected to our ex girlfriends and boyfriends in one way or another. She was a part of his life and even if they ended badly they probably had lots of good times and good memories. Obviously they were deeply in love and probably planned to be together forever if he got her name permanently tattooed on her body!It's a part of him just like she is a part of him, and he probably enjoys looking at it and thinking of the good times they had together. It's hard to let go of people you once loved and he'll probably always have a special place for her in his heart. It's unfair for you to expect him to get a tattoo removed for you. I wouldn't remove any of mine for anyone (none of them are names but they are still meaningful). Tattoos are deeply personal. Even if you get the tattoo removed, she'll still be there in his memories and in his mind, so the tattoo is merely a symbol of his past, it wont erase his past if you erase the tattoo. There's no point going through the pain and time and money just to remove a symbol.He's with you now and you should just be happy for it.good luckxxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): I don't think you have a problem here. I think maybe he sees them as battle scars of the past, much like when you carve your initials in a tree. Its his past, now he has matured.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (1 December 2007):
 Tattoo removal IS expensive and it is painful. And to get another tattoo, that would also be really expensive. If you want him to remove it so badly, you should offer to at least help him out financially. He can live with it - YOU can't. So I think it would only be fair that you help him out with the money.
I don't think it's a sign you shouldn't move in together. If he seems to be over his ex in every other way, I don't think this tattoo is a good reason to not move in. There might be some memories with the tattoo, and maybe he's connected to them. Maybe it's like Fairy Lu said...
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (1 December 2007):
 That's really not a big deal.I wouldn't get it removed from my arm either, it doesn't mean he has any feelings for her still, it still holds some memory though.If I were you I'd just drop it, if you actually care about him it'd be flat out stupid to cause problems in your relationship over something s small as some ink on his arm.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (1 December 2007):
 Tattoos all have meanings to the person they represents memories, i wouldnt get any of mine removed why dont you ask him to get a tattoo of your name and if he refuses then you know where you stand. The thing is he is willing to go through all the pain of removal which costs a fortune and is more painful then getting another one done, but isnt willing to get it covered hmmm seems really odd, maybe its a reminder for him not to make that mustake again.
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A
male
reader, auvi  +, writes (1 December 2007):
there are some memories people keep no matter what. it is a part of their own privacy. even between the most intimate couples , there are some scopes for privacy. let him have some of his own memories to himself for a healthier relationship. and stop bothering abt this, he has his ex-gf's name on his arm, which never means that he loves you any less.
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