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Why won't he be honest?

Tagged as: Faded love, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 5 September 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Why wont he tell me the truth?

Me and my ex split in 2013 both are choice.

He moved to the north of the midlands.

Anyway last yr he got bk in contact with me and since we have met a few times and he's been on weekends away with me and my little one.

I know he was with someone else and has a kid although he will never admit that to me.

Anyway what's bugging me the most is he's saying to me he's moved bk to where i met him (Frome)

He comes down once a week but after a recent weekend away I saw him tap in on his phone a postcode for the midlands. i looked twice. Them when i asked to have a proper look he changed the postcode to Frome before showing me properly.

I got really upset with that saying 2 him about where he lives etc and he said the same thing as normal Frome like I've said many times before i did say i don't mind where he lives would just like the truth.

I know hes no longer with the girl but it is annoying that he wont tell me the truth where he lives.

Is there any other things/ways i can ask without him getting fed up with me asking.?

View related questions: my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 September 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is lying to you for a reason, if he wanted to be with you he would be honest and trying to make things worse. Don't put you and your little one through this, its not fair on you both.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI am sure you have been on before, asking the same question. I don't have time to look for the post but this all sounds very familiar.

As you are still with him, despite not believing or trusting him, I am not sure what you are expecting from us regarding advice. Nobody can force him to admit to having a child. Nobody can force him to tell you where he lives. You have pecked his head about it and he is still not telling you the truth - or what YOU consider to be the truth? What proof do you have that what you believe is the truth? Is it based on hearsay or gossip? Are you sure it IS the truth?

If you are certain of your facts, and he is lying to you, then why are you still with him? Where do you see this relationship going if he can't afford you the respect of owning up to his own child and telling you where he lives?

You CHOOSE to stay. That's absolutely fine as it is YOUR head he is messing with. As I see it, there is only one way for this to end - and that is badly.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (4 September 2017):

Ciar agony auntHe's already fed up with you asking.

OP, if he won't be honest about something as simple as where he lives and whether or not he has a child then you need to stop asking questions and start making some sound decisions.

He's not a keeper so stop asking pointless questions you know you won't get honest answers to.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2017):

He won't be honest because he knows you won't like the truth. I don't think you'll get the truth out of this guy no matter how you phrase the question.

I personally wouldn't stay with a guy who I didn't trust; I wouldn't need to have the truth out of him. If you've only met up a few time since you made contact again last year - it sounds like you're more of a booty call than a potential partner.

But, if you really want to know the truth and you're willing to part with some money (£55)- get a background check done

https://aretheysafe.co.uk/

But if you truly "don't mind where he lives" why do you need to know? If you discover hasn't moved back to Frome and he's still living in the Midlands - will you just say "Oh, that's okay darling" and never mention it again. Or will you be angry that he's lied to you (because you should be.)

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2017):

Denizen agony auntDo you really love this piece of work that much? You split - probably for good reasons - and now you have let him back in your life and it is screwing your head up.

He is being secretive, probably lying, unfaithful, and you give him your precious time. Seriously girl! Get a grip on reality.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (4 September 2017):

We won't tell you the truth because he is still with the other woman. Why would you continue to be with a man who is lying to you?

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