A
female
age
36-40,
*andy_kisses 4987
writes:Iam 20 years old and I have never been in very many relationships. I have ahd one serious boyfriend and a few casual relationships. I know it is because Iam overweight. Everyone tells me Im beautiful, smart,a nd have a shining personality. i know I treat men like gold and i have a lot to offer. However, guys never want to give me a chance. Tell me, why wont guys date bigger women? What do they find so appaling? I mean I always have plenty of self confidence and I always love myself no matter what, but it never seems to be enough. Please i need some advice, especially from a male point of view
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): hello id just like to say that i'd date practically any woman!, in my opinion i think it's rarer to find women that would date bigger guys, mainly because i am a bigger guy and i find it really hard getting a date, just show them you dont need them- and theyy will come running!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): Well some people are maybe more socially inclined to be attracted to a particular type of form. Just like some people are more inclined to like a certain type of person. (Some people like athletes. Some like brainy types.) It is the same thing. This doesn't mean that you are not beautiful and that there aren't going to be many guys who love you.
Maybe it is just that the guys who you like are not the right ones for you. And for all you know maybe it has nothing to do with your weight. Maybe the guys you like are just not looking for a girlfriend or maybe they feel they have less in common with you than you think.
I will tell you some guys really are very shallow. Even many skinny girls would have trouble keeping up with the expectations of a shallow guy. You just got to find someone who fits you perfectly. Someone who has similar interests, similar experiences, similar aspirations and a similar view of the world as you have. That's all. It might take time. But it will happen.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Some guys don't date bigger women, some guys do. For myself, I've always dated girls depending on who they are, and not their size. My ex's have been larger women. I also have ex-girlfriends who were smaller.
I'd much rather be with someone who didn't look like a model but was nice, caring, and good conversationalist, than I would someone who looked like a model, but looks was all they had going for them.
You'll find someone. It's not just overweight who have difficulties in finding someone. People of all sizes and personalities have the same issues. Just keep loving yourself and it will happen.
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