A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why was I dealt all the bad cards when it comes to love?I've never had any luck keeping a man.I'm not happy with anything about me so all my life I go to married men for love because they don't have to put effort into me other than having sex with me. I have ruined a lot a marriages but I can't stop myself. I wish I could have my own man but single men don't have anything plus they don't know how to love like married men love their wife and me. I wish I could be a married man's wife? I'm a loser. None of the married men are happy when I breakup their marriage and that makes me sad because they just cry for their wives back and hate me and blame me as homewrecker. Somebody please tell me how to keep a married man and make him want to move me in when his marriage ends because of me. Sad and Mad and feeling worthless.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): The thing you have to do something about is your lack of self-esteem. If you don't feel worthy of someone of your own then you need to work on making that happen.
There are lots of self-esteem books out there you could read, with exercises to do. There is probably lots of help on the internet too. There is counselling. Try to solve this problem, sort yourself out and your confidence will grow until you know you are worth better than someone else's man.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): You're barking up the wrong tree. What you're doing is like eating only fast food and lots of it in order to lose weight. You're actually going for guys that can't love you looking for love. How does that make sense to you?
What you're getting from them isn't love it's pure lust, nothing else.
Jmtmj is right, you're not being dealt a bad hand you're actively seeking them and then expecting them to suddenly be good, again it makes no sense.
"Somebody please tell me how to keep a married man" That's easy, marry your own man.
Jmtmj here's why "I'm not happy with anything about me so all my life I go to married men" you see she's so unhappy with herself that she's looking for happiness in a man, that's mistake number one.
Number two is that she has confused the passionate lust a married man gives her immediately, for love. You see Jmtmj, normal single guys don't have that, it takes time to develop a relationship with a single person, they don't just dive head first into relationships like that and when they do it's usually about the sex. You see she doesn't trust single guys are capable of loving her for this very reason. Because you know how cheating works, a married man is proven to be capable of love to someone, she wants that love all to herself, she also feels special that she's able to be loved more than this guys wife even though it never happens that way. It's a competition for her, she hates herself so much that normal love isn't enough, she wants to override another woman's love, she only feels validated when a man proves he loves her more that any other woman by leaving his wife for her but they're not going to because she's just a piece of meat to them.
OP I think you've been hurt enough times by this situation that you need to see it just doesn't work. Married guys aren't going to fall in love a mentally ill woman that hates herself, they're just taking advantage of a sick woman with severe issues to get laid.
I called you mentally ill OP because it sounds like you are, it sounds like you have a cognitive dysfunction which you need treatment for, I'm not a psychologist nor an expert but your behaviour is very abnormal.
"Sad and Mad and feeling worthless." is the root cause of your problem, I have a feeling you've been like this a long time too. You see you're not a young inexperienced woman, that's why I think you are ill. Because you consistently exhibit self harming behaviours, by dating guys that you can't possibly have. You're choosing guys out of your reach to fill a need in you that only you can fill. You need to go seek help, you need to sort out these issues and when you do, you'll no longer have this compulsion. It's very abnormal because it doesn't bring you long term happiness at all it just makes you feel ever more worthless and dejected which is greatly effecting your mental health. Go get help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): Firstly, LEAVE MARRIED MEN ALONE. It sounds to me that in your heart of hearts that you are afraid of commitment. you pick these men because they are unavailable. you say they love their wives and you. NO, they are just using you and you let them. do you want to be known in your town as the preverbable home wrecker. i dont think so. any decent available man will probably steer clear of you because he will think you would be unfaithful to them. yes i know this is harsh but think of all the heartache a destruction you have caused along the way for your fleeting moments of happiness. most of these men are sorry they got found out, and they were never serious about you. you were just someone who gave them sexually what they needed and nothing more. try and find some self esteem and respect for yourself and learn to be happy in your own skin. then only then embark on a relationship with a man who isnt attached or married!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Dealt bad cards?? Sounds more like you've shuffled through the whole deck looking for the bad cards!!
You're specifically targeting married men... I'm still confused as to why... but I think there's much more to this when it comes to your reasoning for targeting them.
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