A
female
age
36-40,
*adAsh6705
writes:Hello everyone,I am in a relationship that started almost a year ago. I am 23, in college and recently lost my job suddenly which has been causing me a lot of stress. Before I lost my job, my boyfriend (he's 24) and I used to argue sometimes, and every once in awhile we would have some pretty crazy arguments, but we have always been pretty good about apologizing and making up and going back to being happy.When I first lost my job, it was nice to spend time together and it felt like we almost fell in love all over again. We have been living together for about 6 months now. After the first week of being unemployed we started arguing A LOT, like almost every day and a few days ago had a pretty bad argument and my roommates were concerned about what is going on with us. The past few days I have been so aggrivated with the way he acts toward me, I feel like he doesn't respect me because of little things like today he came straight from work and didn't even come upstairs to say hello and just went to playing a video game which he played all night until he was ready for bed. I have been having so many thoughts lately about how he has no real goals or direction in his life while I am busy studying and trying to earn a degree in college. I just don't know if I am wasting my time with him, every day I feel more and more like being with him is more of a problem in my life than it is positive and I just want to know if this seems like a lost cause trying to work things out with him?He has shown in the past that he is trustworthy and has been there for me when things have gone wrong, but when I lost my job we started arguing so much and I'm having a hard time telling if it is because of the stress I am under or if I am just realizing that it's not working out. I am so confused!!Tonight he was in bed asleep and I came in the room to get a pen because I was doing homework and a few minutes later he came downstairs and asked why I came in the room (aparently I woke him up) and when I told him he ran around the living room saying "There's a pen right here!! and here!" picking up pens around the house and then he just left. I suppose he went to his mom's house down the street, but he turned off his phone, so I don't know why he was so pissed off. Does anyone have any advice? Is it too late to fix this? I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (11 November 2008):
 Excuse me but the poster did not mean to wake up her b/f while looking for a pen..."HE MAY FEEL YOU ARE STUPID"!!!!!She is studying that's why she needed the pen....To I would have thought get a decent job, And it does not state in this post that she is lazy and has not looked for work at all...You are extremely judgemental and rude...How is this going to help anyone understand and get help and comfort for there problem??????
A
male
reader, Adey +, writes (11 November 2008):
There were multiple pens around the room you were in and you went upstairs to unnecessarily wake him up? Whilst this may seem petty, his reaction would suggest he has lost all respect for you. He may feel you are stupid for losing a job and not getting another one. You say he has no goals. You are the unemployed one and (forgive if I got this wrong) you don't suggest that you are doing anything to get a new job. Maybe he needs you to demonstrate that you are equally contributing to the relationship. It could be that he is just sick of you and wants out but don't have the bottle to tell you right now. I suggest you find someone else.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (11 November 2008):
Hi Hunny
You are most defiantly not the only one who is stressed here, You both are in a big way, My way of dealing with this would to have a few days off from him (NOT IN A NASTY WAY TO THINK)..He has got a place to go for awhile..It doest help that you have others living with you as that can cause problems when your trying to sort things out as I live with my family all of them and its hard work at times. If I argued with my fella then the whole house hears which is just great in my eyes, If its not bad enough.....If you have got to the point were you cannot talk properly and he is getting well stressed with the pen thing..Lots of stuff must be going through both of your minds making you unhappy and then trying to avoid certain situations as hiding from you. (Not coming to see you when he has fin wrk) It kinda speaks volumes of how unhappy things are right now...When you have both had time to think then hopefully you wont be so angry with each other and will be able to speak and not yell...Do your mates get involved and stick up for you as this could get him down love...Im not sure if I'm right here about all your room mates but this could be a problem for him hunny..You def need to talk and try and get both your stress levels down..And the only way to do this is to be open and honest with each other...TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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