A
female
age
36-40,
*s933r
writes:ok so me and my boyfriend have been together right at a year and been living together for 6 months. He's 26 I'm 22.. I've dated way more guys than he has girls. He's been in 3 serious relationships his whole life me being one of them and the one before was 4 years before we started dating. I love this man. I really think he's the one. My probblem is that he has a female friend whom he texts every so often. They've been friends for a while. He is good friends with her exboyfriend and they all lived together a few years ago. The other night he seemed distant.. It was odd. After we went to bed his phone kept going off.. He was sound asleep so I sneaked a peek..(which I rarely do) the texts were from here one said "please can I have it" another said "send me another this time with your shirt off" I paniced and looked in his pics. He had sent her a picture of his penis... He and I have a very healthy sex life. When I confronted him he denied at first then admitted it. He said a few years ago he got drunk and jokingly sent her a pic of him naked and that this night the incident happened she was in a bad mood and needed cheering up and somehow that got brought up and she asked him to send her another naked shot. He has repeatedly apololgized and cried to me about this. He never cries. He is very sincere I just don't know what to think. He says nothing would ever happen between them. He has never given me a reason to think be was cheating. I've been cheatedon before too... I just need some incite on what I should do or say to him or act or whatever cuz I don't wanna lose him but I refuse to be hurt by him again cuz this killed me.....
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female
reader, ls933r +, writes (11 November 2008):
ls933r is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh and the reason his phone was going off so late was because her phone kept resending all her texts.. (I'm sure we've all had that problem) so I do believe that since he said I happened right before I got off work that evening. He said he cried because it hurt him to see how much he had hurt me.. Granted the getting caught thing probably played a big part but 3 out of the 5 times he did cry were because I would just start crying at the thought of him betraying me.... I think we've had such a good relationship that it was kinda meant to be that something like this happened. It has made him respectme more & show me more appreciation. Maybe her phone was resending texts for a reason. That I was supposed to find it & we were supposed to go through this bull shit. We had been kinda falling off a little. Working so much & bills & crap. Maybe it was just a wake up call that we needed to light the spark up again... But then again I'm a wishful thinker....
A
female
reader, MT19  +, writes (11 November 2008):
There are several questions you need to think about here.
1) Why is your boyfriend cheering her up instead of her boyfriend?
2) If there is nothing between them why does a naked picture of him cheer her up?
3) Would your boyfriend like it if you were sending naked pictures of yourself to your male friends?
Also if he is not usually a cryer why all of a sudden tears? Tears cause he upset you? Or tears cause he got caught?
Sweetie i understand why this is killing you but i got to be honest even if he hasn't cheated he has sown the seeds of doubt in your mind and those are difficult things to get over. I know you love him but it may be time to move on. Good Luck !!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): Your boyfriend cried because he got caught, not because he regrets sending the picture. Then he insults your intelligence by saying it was to cheer her up - excuses, excuses.
Don't be blinded by love - there is obviously something more going on here. Added to that is that you didn't trust him or was worried enough about the relationship that you went through his phone.
He may not be having a physical relationship with this girl, but there is most definitely without a doubt more to it than he has told you, bring it up again, but this time don't let his tears stop you from getting the truth out of him.
If he is showing this much attention to another girl then he certainly does not see you as "the one" or the person to settle down this. I think he knows this, and that is why he cries when you bring it up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): I think you're right to be suspicious. Why would he send her a picture of himself naked to "cheer her up" if there is nothing between them? Seeing a guy friend naked wouldn't cheer ME up unless I was attracted to him in some way. It's possible that he is being honest, I suppose, but I don't think it's likely. Definitely weird.
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