A
male
age
51-59,
Anonymousmale1
writes:Quite a few of you have written to me in regards to your boyfriends (and a few husbands) frequenting the mens den, called Strip Clubs. This issue is a concern for most if not all women in a relationship and I can understand that. So today, I decided I would try to explain to you all, Why men visit these clubs. I will try to quail some of your fears and attempt to help you identify the signs of this behavior becoming a real problem. Because, at this moment you possibly have no idea what really goes on inside these walls, and the not knowing part is probably what disturbs you the most. I've been to Strip Clubs many times over my adult life and I have to admit that even when I was a "Dog", the prospect of bedding a stripper was unappealing to me. Now don't get me wrong, most of them are stunningly beautiful, however I personally have a problem with dating a woman whose job it is to lap dance for men in order to make a buck. I probably could overlook the dancing nude on stage part, but her allowing multiple men to touch her and she them, is what I couldn't stomach. No real self-respecting man actually could I am sure.Some men have no issue with this, and to those women who do work as strippers I say; he's not a real man, period. He's simply with you because you're the gravy train and it allows him not to work at all, or to further his going nowhere music career. Any real man, even if he met a stripper and decided that she was nice, would automatically inform her that to be with him that she would have to change her vocation. Real love is about more than money, I would rather be broke with a woman I love than to be wealthy with a woman whom utilizes her body to make cash for things we really don't need. Back to the Club: Most of these places are dimly lit, with the most well-lit area being the stage itself. When you enter they generally charge you at the door or at times they are free with the purchase of several overpriced beverages. Your man will take a seat at a table or he can cuddle up to the stage where he can get a closeup view of the action, if you want to call it that. In most states, if the dancers are totally nude then the club is not allowed to sell alcohol. That's not all states, just some. An example of this is that in Las Vegas, only topless clubs offer alcoholic beverages to their clients. If it's totally nude, guest will only be drinking water, juice or sodas. Now, in Hawaii, all bets are off. They have no so-called topless bars, everything is totally nude with alcohol.However, if you sit at the stage, the performers expect you to tip them while they dance. This is understandable because hell those are the best seats and she's not dancing for free, she has bills to pay. Did you know that strippers have to pay a fee each and every night they go in to work? This means that she starts each and every shift already in the hole. Also, at the end of her shift she is expected to tip the waitress, D.J., bartender and in most cases even the club's manager. Just thought you might want to know that tidbit of information.If your man sits at a table or a booth, dancers that are between sets mingle through the club and approach customers to talk to. These talks are really a way of breaking the ice and most times leads to him buying her a drink. In most clubs whenever a drink is purchased for the dancer she is issued a token that she turns in at the end of her shift and receives a percentage of the cost of the drink. The really good strippers are really intelligent and patient. They can hold a conversation on anything from auto mechanics to politics without missing a beat. Men will buy them many drinks and most times its nothing more than soda, because she needs to maintain her sobriety in order to make cash. Unknown to most people, men have been known to simply pay a dancer for her time sitting there chatting the night away.Once she has him to the point where he is comfortable she inquires as to if he would like a dance. A lap dance is where she makes the big money and is important to her having a financially great night. In this dance it is her job to entice a customer by bringing him to erection, which means that he will be more eager to open his wallet for more dances. Do you remember the quote that Robin Williams said about men? “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”This statement although funny is actually true in regards to strip clubs. If a dancer is good enough at what she does, that 3 minute, $20 dance can turn into hundreds if not thousands of your mans hard-earned money. It can make him come back for more, week after week searching for the same dancer, whom now calls him a regular. To keep up the charade, after a few weeks she will exchange numbers with him just to keep him on the hook. However, she will only call him when she hasn't made her goal for the night or whenever she needs something. You can also rest assured, he is not her only regular customer. The really good dancers, they have many regular customers at their whim. All of these men think that they are the only one. ***Warning Sign*** If your man frequents strip clubs, and he gets paid on Friday and is broke by Monday he is considered some dancers regular. So it would behoove you to check his phone and terminate this situation quickly! Now these Lap Dances can take place in a couple of different places throughout the club. It can occur in a VIP setting, which is nothing more than a darker room sectioned off by walls complete with couches or at his table if he prefers. For the VIP areas, these dances cost somewhat more, generally dancers talk men into going with the promise of having more privacy alluding to the fact that he will have more freedom to do more. Wrong! Clubs have cameras everywhere and bouncers as well. You get caught doing more than basic touching and his ass is out of there in a hurry. So basically she simply just suckered him into spending more cash for nothing. Do more sinister things happen in a strip club? Yes they do, but those things are not the norm. Occasionally a dancer will have too much to drink and allow a customer to go too far, which usually ends with him being put out of the club and her being terminated. Clubs make too much money to allow some simple-minded dancer to cost them their license. For men going to a strip club is a game of cat and mouse. They all know that these women are after their wallets (or rather its contents), and some men of course are after something else. So the women and men both tease one another trying to get more than what either are willing to give. This ritual heightens the excitement. He wants a number at the least, she wants him to get more dances. They both attempt to manipulate the other to see who wins. Men who understand this game enjoy it for what it really is, entertainment and childish play. Both sides lie, she said her name is Heather, and he tells her he's an attorney. In the end it doesn't matter because when its said and done, she'll go home to her man (or woman) and your man will come home to you. Is it cheating? That depends on how you want to look at it. Just like women like the attention of men, men at times like the attention of beautiful women. In a strip club he gets exactly that. For those couple of hours he can be anyone he wants because it really doesn't matter to the girls, because they only want cash. So he gets an erection, is that so bad especially since you and he both know he'll be sharing it with you when he gets home. Be honest, all of us fantasize while making love from time to time. Your partner becomes someone else in your mind for that fleeting moment. If you become the stripper that he spent an hour with earlier and it increases your pleasure, is that really so bad? (As long as in the middle of it he doesn't call you Rain or some other made up stripper name.)Truth be told, most strippers could care less about the men that visit the clubs. During their time working they get to see men at their absolute worst! They get to see grown men acting like the kids they really are, cursing, attempting to fondle them, calling them names and worse. Where else could you go and see a Bank President throwing money in women's faces like its rocks. Where else could you see a professional athlete making it rain with hundred-dollar bills? The only place you can see this type of behavior is in your neighborhood strip club. You can see it there because it's private and inside men can act anyway they want within reason. A stripper walks by, he can pat her on the ass as long as he doesn't actually grope her and she'll smile. Another one walks by and regardless of how beautiful she is or how unattractive he may be, he can approach her and get her to sit and chat with him without fear of rejection (for a fee of course). Inside these clubs men can do the things that are no longer permitted in our everyday lives because of the radical societal changes over the years. They may have to now pay for these privileges today, but there was a time when you could tap a waitress in a restaurant on the fanny if you chose and as long as you left a fat tip it was permissable. Men used to do the same to their secretaries as well. Try this tactic today and you'll end up with a sexual assault charge on your record. Most men, and I am not saying all, actually only go to strip clubs to unwind and relax. They're in an enviroment without the stresses of everyday life, a place where you can have a drink, look at half or fully nude women and converse with them or even other men. Real men do not want a stripper as a girlfriend, they simply do not. Now, some men want to have one for a short period of time as a trophy (something to brag to friends about), but not to fall in love with or marry. It happens though, but generally ends in disaster. What women fail to understand is this; in reality a strip club is a much safer place for your man to visit than a regular night club. That caught you by surprise didn't it? However, lets examine that statement a little closer. In a strip club your man is being monitored by bouncers, management and that eye in the sky camera system to ensure he doesn't do anything that can cost them their license. The girls there for the most part are really less interested in taking your man home then actually sending him home to you with an erection and an empty wallet. Now, a regular night club is a tad bit different. Women and men go there mostly for the sole purpose of picking someone up. There is no person or entity to modify their behavior, now they won't let them make love on the dance floor or the coat closet, however they will allow them privacy to talk, touch, kiss etc. They can exchange phone numbers and they may even leave together-his car or hers. At a strip club this is simply not going to happen. He may save a few dollars by going to a night club, however if he gets an erection while slow dancing with a girl he just met, he may or may not be utilizing it with you later. So that's my spill on strip clubs, they're really not as bad as most women think. In retrospect, its men making bad decisions that make them seem worse than they really are, for the clubs and their women at home who love them.
View related questions:
alcoholic, erection, lapdance, money, period, stripper Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, xXJDXx  +, writes (27 August 2010):
My general opinion of strip clubs is this
stag do's
curiosity
yeah sure what's the harm in once..
The ones that get me are the men who sneak off there wasting money they should rightfully be taking home to the wife and kids are just perverted brainless twats who think to much with their prick instead of their heads.
They need locking away in a zoo with the rest of the primates!!
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Like several of the other female replies, I take some offense at the extremely sexist tone of this article.
"I've been to Strip Clubs many times over my adult life and I have to admit that even when I was a "Dog", the prospect of bedding a stripper was unappealing to me. Now don't get me wrong, most of them are stunningly beautiful, however I personally have a problem with dating a woman whose job it is to lap dance for men in order to make a buck. I probably could overlook the dancing nude on stage part, but her allowing multiple men to touch her and she them, is what I couldn't stomach. No real self-respecting man actually could I am sure."
You also say it's totally cool cause everyone lies to each other.
But it's OK to interact with them in an intimate way because you pay them? You just wouldn't want to date these "things" because they're disgusting, is that the gist of it? Strippers are women too. But fear not my friend, many strippers talk about how they fantasize about hacking off limbs, parts, and heads of their clients in order to get through the night. Don't worry, even if they like their job, many of them hate you for buying them. So don't worry, they don't want to date you either.
"Inside these clubs men can do the things that are no longer permitted in our everyday lives because of the radical societal changes over the years. They may have to now pay for these privileges today, but there was a time when you could tap a waitress in a restaurant on the fanny if you chose and as long as you left a fat tip it was permissable. Men used to do the same to their secretaries as well. Try this tactic today and you'll end up with a sexual assault charge on your record."
Yes, there's a reason for that. Women don't want you to tap them on the "fanny" while they're trying to work or when they don't know you. It's because women are people now.
"Occasionally a dancer will have too much to drink and allow a customer to go too far, which usually ends with him being put out of the club and her being terminated. Clubs make too much money to allow some simple-minded dancer to cost them their license."
Here you are blaming the stripper, the woman for the man sexually harassing her. That's just wrong. This is the reason women don't report being raped. It's the same excuse as a woman having too much to drink and letting herself get raped.
Some guy once said, "real men don't visit strip clubs, hire prostitutes, use porn, or anything else that involves the buying of women for sexual pleasure." I agree.
...............................
A
female
reader, asphixiated +, writes (23 August 2010):
everyone has their own opinion, so I thought I would share mine. this is a form of cheating. how can it not be? sure we do it everyday with lust and other forms of immorality, however when you put these acts into motion, how can it not be considered a form of adultery when you are already with someone? men, should you not be happy with what you have? if not, by all means, leave your woman you apparently don't love enough and find someone who can satisfy ALL of your selfish needs. because you, for one, do not seem to care if your wife/gf knows about your own promiscuity against them. unless of course you both act on this together. guys, come on, think about what you are doing, and who are hurting. not only are u insulting you partner by lusting over someone else, and PAYING for that lust, but you are also degrading yourself! be a true man and live up to those promises you made your partner. "i love only you" "you are my life, my love forever and no one else" "i only have eyes for you" etc. piensalé! as for prostitutes, I feel for them. I understand that these women need funds and are actually good people, but their acts (as well as the customers!!!) destroy families. men, how would you like your daughter growing up to be prostitute? well, that's someone's daughter you just payed 50 bucks to give you special treatment for the night. put yourself in your own right mind and stop before you ruin your morality further. this article is fact, yet fiction. nothing good except an erection can come out of a strip club. simple as that. (and to think, I JUST turned 18 and I feel already as though my maturity level has out busted most of the men on this site.)
...............................
A
female
reader, xXJDXx +, writes (21 August 2010):
Well... I am one if these woman who would just die at the thought of my partner going to a strip club... After Reading your post and namely the last reply before myself, I don't feel any more confident!! So thanks for trying to set our minds at ease.. Just made me feel even worse about a strip club situation... For a woman who's as self consious as me Reading this is hard, it's a sure eye opener.. Don't get me wrong, I kno in "some" places you can get "extras" but I have always been under the impression that you not actually allowed to touch??? My fella told me once he had a lap dance and hated it, only had one as HE was with his friend a bouncer working there that night.. And was constantly approached by women offering.. So thought why not, see what all the fuss is about... So if everything you say is true I really find it hard to believe what he's saying is true. We wasn't in a relationship when this happened, but when he told me it really knocked my confidence.
...............................
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (21 August 2010):
 hmmm this is interesting... Well i dont agree with the whole real men wouldnt date a stripper line i have male freinds that have strippers for gfs... they know what there women do and there kool with it the bills get paid.. many of the strippers i know that are in relationships have boundries they may strip etc but and even a lap dance but they wont go more then that.. strip clubs are monitored some more then others... but for the right price you can get just about anything from a stripper.. and if she likes you enough you might not have to pay at all..
Some strippers are more proffesional then others.. they really go after the money.. others are more laid back they may have a job on the side a man or are in college and know they wont be doing this long.. I once met a stripper i decided i would like to get to know better she was interesting and beutiful... turns out she drove an S 500. and certainly didnt need to strip for money it was part rebellion part she loved the attention...
Theres married men that do go to strip clubs and do more then watch a dance they have sex or get blow jobs and other things.. like i said not all clubs are as monitored.. in many places law enforcement is paid off and who is gonna rat out the local spot.
Men go to strip clubs for many reasons for entertainment sex socialization to drink etc the list goes on. but theres another thing men like variety.... all the women we pass all day at the bank the grocery store on the train we can go to the strip club and see theese women and talk to theese women with out rejection. I think going to strip clubs is a way of obtaining the unattainable you can have the hot librarian, your wifes sister your kids barely legal sitter all on one stage ..
Ive hear many men say they would never go to a strip club or get a prostitute "why pay for whats free" lol i think thats funny because you pay regardless you pay for the air you breathe in some way.. mostly guys with wives kids and no money say that. If you have money strip clubs are fun take a few c notes and go pick out a few girls or just one or two if there special its like going to the car dealer and buying a car if you have money its not a big deal. you pay for everything else in life a wife is way more expensive then a stripper.
pesonally i find dating hard work with little reward at the end of the day the goal is to get a girl into her panties well most of the job is done for you allready at a strip club.. out in the world you can chase a woman for weeks wining and dining and still end up with nothing for the cost of a dinner and a movie you can call up a stripper youve gotten close to and get the business.
on another note for those in relation ships if your wondering if it something your doing or not doing to make your partner stray to strip clubs both are possible.. if youve let your self go over the yrs.. if the sex in the relation ship is lacking etc everything could be perfect and the person may still go to the strip club its entertainment after all some prefer water parks though.
...............................
A
male
reader, NotSean +, writes (14 August 2010):
I agree with @veronica who writes "I have a bit of a problem with the way you flippantly proclaim that "real men don't date strippers". Female strippers are women - real, living, breathing women. The men who date them are real, living, breathing men.
The sexism of this piece kind of makes me mad.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dez +, writes (6 August 2010):
I would have to say that you are right for the most part, GENERALIZATION being what it is!
...............................
A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 I have a bit of a problem with the way you flippantly proclaim that "real men don't date strippers". Female strippers are women - real, living, breathing women. The men who date them are real, living, breathing men. I think it's problematic that you feel the need to denounce female strippers as "simple minded" and generally have a disrespectful attitude towards them, but yet you seem to have frequented a large number of strip clubs. It's as if you want the privilege of frequenting strip clubs, but you feel it's okay to be completely disrespectful to the women who work in them for your entertainment. I just don't see why any of that blatant sexism (towards women AND men) and disrespect was necessary in the article. After all, it's titled 'Why men visit strip clubs', not 'This is how a strip club works and what I think of the strippers who work there'.
...............................
A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Very interesting read there Anon.
I live in Australia and things are a bit different here. Prostitution is legal so in our strip clubs there are women walking around offering their survices.
But I do agree that no self respecting guy would date a stripper or prostitute for that matter.
...............................
|
