A
male
age
36-40,
*angaz
writes:me and my partner have been having unprotected sex for 18months now! she is 19 and im 22.it may seem young but we are financially stable and want a baby! but she dont seem to get pregnant! is there a problem with either of us?
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male
reader, bangaz +, writes (15 May 2008):
bangaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are married, going on to be a year on August 19th.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): At 19 I can't see how she's ready emotionally or financially to raise a baby. Are you sure this is a good idea? I'm going to suggest you get married. Why is it that so many younger people now don't want to be married, yet they want to bring a baby into the world? Yea, being married isn't everything but if you love eachother enough to try for a baby then I don't see why you wouldn't want to commit to a stable family with her and your child. Also, you've been trying for a baby for 18 months, making her only 17 when you started trying. There's no way a 17 year old is ready for a baby. I would re-evaluate your decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Perhaps she wants the stability of marriage, a home within to raise the baby, a father who will stay and help her. I am amazed at how many people (especially on this site) want/have children without the context of a stable family unit. There are benefits to marriage having to do with health care, legal protections, not to mention legitimacy of the child. Talk to your girlfriend, I agree that there may be some birth control going on that you may not know about.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (14 May 2008):
 It took me nearly 4 years to conceive but we got there in the end so don't give up hope as you are both very young. In my case, there were known infertility problems and a surgeon actually told me I was most unlikely to ever conceive without IVF...he was wrong. However, I did have to make some lifestyle changes - more exercise, watching the diet and getting into a mindset of not caring too much about when I got pregnant...what will be, will be if you like. I suggest that you and your partner get checked out for hormonal imbalances at the doctor - if nothing else your minds will be put at ease.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Just before you rush off to the doctor, are you trying too hard? Is the stress of desperately wanting to conceive having an adverse effect on both of you?
Try to take it more calmly. Don't overdo the sex (and, obviously, avoid masturbation). As Laura said, 14 to 16 days after the first day of her period is the best time to try, and I suggest avoiding sexual activity for a few days before that.
I'm a firm believer in making it as easy as you can for the natural process to happen - on her back, butt slightly raised for deeper penetration (as Laura also suggested) so you are closer to the "target" when you "fire"!!, and she remains in that position for at least ten minutes afterwards (on the basis that logic says it's easier to swim downhill without any distractions - no scientific basis for that whatsoever!!).
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Laura is correct, you need to be seen by your doctors to find the answer to your question.
Here's a website for some research help:
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/default.htm
Wishing you good luck in conceiving!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 You could Google this question to find out the probable causes
but you need to go for a complete check up to determine the real cause.
14 to 16 days after her first day of period is the most fertile period.
Try using a pillow to lift up her butt for deeper penetrations.
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A
female
reader, Scarlettxx  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 First of all you need to re-evaluate your situation here. Having a baby & raising it is a really big deal, it's not something that you jump into.
If you BOTH are 100% sure that you want to have a child & that you both are financially stable & also that you both have support from external people, just in case it might fall apart.
Did you talk to your girlfriend about it in the last few months?
I'm saying this because she is quite young & fertility problems are quite rare in someone so young but yes they can always happen.
I'm going to be blunt, could she be taking any other form of contraception behind your back? Maybe she says that she is ready for a baby but maybe she's scared she'll lose you because she's not ready so she's not telling you that she doesn't want a child. Therefore taking another form of contraception.
Talk to her.
Tell her how you feel about having a baby.
Then ask her how she feels.
If you are convinced she is whole heartedly committed to having a child with you then go to the doctor. Maybe you could have fertility problems? Maybe she has fertility problems?
Just talk to her, re-evaluate the situation & if it goes well with the intervention then go to the doctor together.
But remember, I don't know my father & there are enough children in the world who have only one parent or are even unwanted.
Good luck :)
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