A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have recently hooked up with a new partner. After a certain amount of guidance from me he can give me fantastic oral. I have been told many times previously that my blow jobs were the best ever but I don't seem to have what it takes any more. Last time neither oral nor hand worked and i felt absolutely devastated - embarassed, discouraged, scared to try again....a complete failure. This has severely damaged my confidence and I am scared stiff to try again and fail again. But it is going to have a serious effect on this relationship if I don't address the problem. I need to get my confidence back and it seems as if I need to learn how to do these things all over again. Has anyone got any advice? I can't bear him giving me oral while I know that I'm so useless at it.
View related questions:
blow-job, confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 As the second guy to reply to your post, let me say that the old adage "Slow and steady wins the race". You gotta remember, we were all created differently. What works for one doesn't always work for others... so definitely cut yourself a break here.
Maybe what you need is a little technique tune-up. Here's a link I came across that might do the trick. But no matter what you do, cut yourself some slack. As far as I see it, there's nothing you can do wrong when it comes to being intimate with another human being... experiment, have fun, relax and enjoy the experience!!
http://theovereducatednympho.com/2007/03/14/blowjob-part-3-hand-mouth/
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Ermmm, have you ever thought that this might be his fault too?? He might be too tense, too excited? If so, try to cuddle and kiss lots before you go down on him. And do everything slowly. dont rush. I find that most guys like it slow at first and gently, that relaxes them in a way letting the excitement to slowly build up. If you do it slowly I think he will feel like it will be approptiate to direct you too, telling how he likes it.
Thats about it I guess, dont rush it!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Maybe he just doesn't get off on oral? I'm 26 and I have never really got off from oral from any woman, I am not quite sure why it's not that I don't enjoy it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Each person is different and you need to ask him for his guidance.
Could be that he is not that sensitive or have ED problems?
...............................
A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (14 May 2008):
 dont take too much to heart...some guys just dont get off w/bjs. dont beat urself up.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Wow hun, calm down. If your relationship is based on how well you give head, then you've got bigger problems than you realise.
Yes of course it can be a real blow to your confidence if you can't give your partner as much pleasure as they give you. But this really is a quiet simple problem. Firstly your in a new relationship. Your still at that getting to know each other stage. Your trying to find out how to please him. Don't spoil the honeymoon by giving yourself extra pressure to be perfect. With all your other partners you were fantastic and now because you can't click straight away your useless, and he's gonna leave you. Come on, your a grown adult, you should know by now that life dosen't work like that.
Same thing happened to me after split from my ex. I've always loved giving oral sex, and like you thought I was the best in the world. The first time I did it with a new partner, I couldn't get him to come no matter how I tried. Eventually I asked him what the problem was? Turned out he was tired and drunk. Not only that he always found it difficult to come, and was master of the delayed ejaculation.
Why assume it's your fault. Maybe he dosen't like oral sex, or dosen't usually come by this method. Slow down, your not in a race or competition. Your having a relationship with a real human being. Making such an issue of this surely can't be helping. If he can't come durring oral then he can't. It's not the whole dinner menu, it's only a side dish. Don't stop doing it, just stop trying to make him come. Suck on him like your favourite lolipop, enjoy yourself and find other ways to give him release.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 The best advice I can think to give you is to come out with it and ask him. You said he needed a certain amount of guidance - maybe you do as well.
Even if you have previously been told you give great oral, keep in mind that every person has different preferences, and your new partner might like things differently. Experiment a little, don't be afriad of new things, and keep in mind that sex is not the /only/ part of a relationship.
...............................
|
