A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy at work who behaves very odd around me. I've noticed that when I'm either speaking or just listening to a conversation in a group, he will stand off to the side, like he's avoiding the group. When I leave to take care of something he then joins everyone. When I come back he doesn't stay for long. He never EVER comes near when I'm there, he just stands on the outskirts and it doesn't matter who's talking. I should mention this man is engaged so there is NO WAY anything is happening. I used to see him stare but I didn't pay it much mind. I just want him to feel more relaxed and not feel the need to run when I'm around. It makes me think I've done something wrong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2014): @ Honeypie I'm not new to our workplace. We both started there at the same time a couple of years ago. There are 12 men who work there and everyone else are women and he easily talks and laughs with them all the time.
Anonymous, NO there is no vibe I'm putting off, but I always feel and awkwardness from him when he's around. I keep to myself and so no one could have told him anything negative about me. It's childish to treat people this way when I have done nothing.
@Izzy2 yes I have tried speaking to him. I just don't get it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2014): I don't know. There is this girl who often shows up at my boyfriend's work, she is a friend of his business partner, who he cannot stand. He has brought her up a few times to me and he speaks very negatively of her. For some reason he is really turned off by her personality. I was over at their office the other day and she was leaving, she said bye to my boyfriend and he turned, pretended he didn't hear her and walked in the other direction. I could tell she was offended. And she left. He dislikes her so much he finds it hard to even be casually friendly. That's kind of why when she walks in, he walks out. To avoid conversation so he doesn't have to blatantly show his dislike.
It is terrible but I can relate to my boyfriend because I have that too in my personality. There are some people I cannot stand. And I don't even know why. And it is often hard to fake a smile. So possibly there is something you are doing or saying or an energy you are giving off (that you are unaware of) that he is put off by.
Another possibility is that someone at your work told him something about you that scared him and/or turned him off.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 October 2014):
 Your first instinct is to wonder if it's something you did to create this paranoia? Loook some guys are just stupid and you cannot fix stupid. Trust me I know I've tried. Never try to teach a pig to sing, It's not possible and it annoys the pig.Odd behavior is rampant these days, I see it all around me. Trying to figure it out is like counting the stars on a cludy night.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 October 2014):
 Why wold you assume that YOU have done anything WRONG? For whatever reason he is avoiding you. Doesn't mean YOU DID something wrong, maybe the guy is shy or not comfortable around women, or strangers (if you're fairly new) or he is just an oddball. I wouldn't worry about it, just be polite and professional around him.
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A
female
reader, Izzy2  +, writes (7 October 2014):
Although there is nothing going on, perhaps he does feel something for you, and is therefore scared something will happend, especially as he is engaged. He is just playing it safe perhaps. If nothing bad has happened between you previously, then that could be an explanation. Have you spoken previously to him?
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