A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live in a small town where everyone bumps into each other often. Twice recently, a random miserable couple I do not know has been extremely rude about me loudly for no reason as I have been minding my own business!About a month ago, I was walking down the pavement when they came out of a shop and started walking down the same way. The man kept on looking at me, looking me up and down and snickering before loudly saying to his partner, "I'm not going to say anything! I'm not going to say anything!" She then started laughing. There was nothing particularly strange about my appearance, I was wearing a bright green blazer over a white top and trousers but it was a conservative outfit apart from the colour of my blazer. I also don't wear make-up and without boasting I am considered quite pretty (I am told I look like Olivia Munn). There was no one else he could have been saying this about and he was looking in my direction. I was taken aback as they continued to walk alongside, but eventually said "Pathetic" before stopping to wait for my friend which I don't think either of them were happy about.I saw the couple again earlier today in the park (I did not even recognise them from the previous incident). They were walking in the opposite direction this time. I noticed that the woman kept on staring at me and smiling whilst looking me up and down, it wasn't a nice smile but very pointed and creepy. She was CONSTANTLY staring and smiling for a good few seconds as we approached. It was weird. As I walked by them, she said loudly, "All the school kids are back, it seems! Ruining the park!" There was nobody else she could have been talking about as we were in a secluded area of the park. I am also twenty seven and though I am pretty I sadly do not look young for my age! (Plus, I was wearing a trench coat over smart trousers as I work from home and need to look professional) I have no idea why they are behaving like this, I don't even know them. Without sounding rude, they are both what would be considered unattractive (very much below average) and badly dressed themselves (the woman was wearing zebra print leggings and a purple coat!).The only thing I can think of is that I might know them from years ago (2017) when I was working part-time in a shop (in a city on the other side of the country, when I was at university). It is years ago so it might be a different woman, but I remember someone looking very similar to her being rude to me on multiple occasions because I would ask her for ID for alcohol thinking she looked under 25. She would then ask to speak to my manager and loudly insult me in front of my manager, saying I looked "about twelve" and "could not remember who I (she) am!" But I'm not sure. Anyway, even if that was the case the man would not remember me.Why are they being so rude? Should I call them out on it next time? I often see younger university students who are also prettier than me walking around town looking happy. I certainly do not start randomly insulting them and implying they are schoolchildren!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2021): It seems to me you may have had a confrontation with one of them sometime in the past; or these people are bigots. Some folks don't let-go and forget; even if you had a very brief encounter with them. If they are aware that you are of a different nationality, or ethnic-origin; and even if you're all white or brown. Bigotry can happen to anyone. People will attack you for your religious-beliefs, or your political party; if they happen to know what it is.
You can't stop people from talking about you, and as long as they don't directly confront you; all you can do is ignore them. Choose different routes, and just smile when they say stupid things a goofy smirk. It gets to people who want to bother you; when they can't mess with your mind. The point is to upset and offend you; but if you don't give them any reaction at all, they can't get any twisted-pleasure from bullying you. Trust me, I've endured a lot worse than talking about what I'm wearing! That's so high school mean-girl!
I would not recommend directly confronting those people; because together they outnumber you, and things could escalate further than you'd be able to handle. Until someone makes physical-contact, uses a highly offensive slur towards you publicly; or follows (or approaches) you to intimidate you physically. Thus far, they are staying within the boundaries of the law.
Bullies need a reaction indicating they've inflicted pain; and when they have physically attacked you, the law is on your side. Free-speech protects them to some degree; but when it becomes harassment, they are infringing on your civil-rights. Ask a lawyer how far they can go before it crosses the line. Secretly video and record any future encounters. If you don't show fear, or that you're upset; they will most likely just stop. Visible fear and distress encourages them.
You'll have to toughen-up; because the world is full of bullies. They feel more empowered, because politicians and hate-groups have made society toxic and nasty. As if it's cute to be an insufferable brute! It's downright detestable!!! Stupidity is the incurable pandemic we will always have to suffer. Toughness and endurance gets you through it.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (17 May 2021):
 I would just stop worrying about what they think and get on with you life.
The more they are your point of focus, the more you keep dwelling on them and what they think of you the more power you give the situation, and they will be constantly showing up in your experience.
From what you say her dress sense is not great, and they seem like a dowdy couple with nothing better to do with their time.
Be yourself, don't ever change, hold your head up high when you go out and know that you are better than they are.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2021): Do you let a paper cut ruin your day? That's all these people are. A paper cut.
Stop letting them into your life and let them live their own miserable existence... if you can call it living.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (16 May 2021):
 Let me be perfectly frank with you. What they think about you is none of your business, or even down to anything you may have done. It is all about THEM. For some unknown reason, they have decided to pick on you when they see you. Ignore them. They are not worthy of head space. This is THEIR problem; don't make it yours.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2021): If I were you I would ask them if they are talking to me or if they know me. Yes I would stand up to them and embarrass them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2021): Sometimes strange things happen to us and we have no idea why. The world bites us and there is no reasonable explanation.Why did someone single you out? Why did someone throw that drink at me when i was minding my own business going to the shops, as they drove by in that car last week? I think the simplest answer is that while a lot of people are lovely, and perfectly reasonable, some are plain nasty or a little crazy even.Some people don’t even need a reason to hate on others, they are sad and pathetic but they want to make themselves feel better and some of the lowest of the low only feel a pathetic high when they are dragging others down.Maybe these elderly people were jealous of you in your youth, your beauty, or maybe they take the mick out of young trends or latest fashions regularly, like it was better in the ‘old days’, or maybe they are just the kind of people that look down their noses at people… sad.Try not to take this personally. I know how easy it is to say, compared to the reality, but I doubt they are targeting you solely, how can they when they don’t even know you? They are more just having their disrespectful five seconds of fun..If it were me, I would NOT try a ‘smug little smile as if you know some dirt on them’ because the idea of being better than that is that you don’t (DON’T) stoop so low, you don’t get down to their level, not that you try to create some hostility on purpose…If they feel badly towards you, which would be crazy, then let it be fully without any logic, free from anything that could even be considered getting your own back or retaliating. So don’t go smirking or trying to look down on them as they are weirdly doing to you..Either ignore them or smile sweetly and carry on as if they have just wished you a pleasant greeting. They don’t deserve a nice response, i agree, but it will be the least they expect and will also show them that you are better than that. Which you ARE. Blessings.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 May 2021):
 Why do they do it? Because they are "gutter people". Some people get off on putting people down. Especially people who THEY presume feel superior to themselves.
It can be that it's a game to them. How can we make a random woman feel insecure or crap about herself today - kind of game.
Should you call them out? Why? You WANT to show them that you "play along" with their mind-fuck games? Do you want to let them know that you have spent more time trying to figure these complete TWATS out than THEY deserve?
IGNORE them. Smile a smug little smile back. Like you know some nasty dirt on them. Like their insults mean absolutely ZERO to you. Because the insults shouldn't matter to you. These are just a couple of tossers whose opinions no one cares about. OK?
Let it roll off your back and right down the gutter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2021): Sorry but reading your post I did laugh a few times, not in a bad way towards you but they just seem to obviously have a screw loose.
Sweetheart please stop worrying about them, the only reason they are doing this is because they are clearly very strange, sad, pathetic individuals who focus on trying to put people down who they think will be bothered.
Dont even so much as look their way, the world is full of weird people, some nice and some not so.
Personally I think the woman is simply jealous of you and despite her outward confidence has self esteem issues, pity her in your head but do not let them get to you, they are absolute nobodies and are of no importance to you
Take care and keep smiling
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