A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help understanding my wife. So my work schedule has made it hard for us to spend time together, let alone be intimate. I was working and called her, it went to voicemail. She called me back and said, "Sorry, I was in the shower." she was in a good mood and I started joking with her. I said, "oh, so are are you still all wet?" ;) and she kind of laughed and said, "baby..." (kind of like oh be quiet sort of way). So I laughed and continued with, "so which undies are you wearing? My favorite pink ones or the green ones?" and she sort of giggles and brushes it off with "baby, quit it". So she didn't really play along. So I asked, "hey, how come you never answer me?" you know, keeping the game going.Maybe saying something like, "your favorite ones, remember how they look on me... :)" but she just doesn't. Then she told me, "you make me feel weird." so I kind of sighed and said, "oh ok." and proceeded talking about our insurance plan, etc ., everyday stuff.So all of a sudden she says, "well, I'm gonna go." I asked why and she said just because she doesn't wanna talk on the phone anymore. I asked what I did wrong, why was she mad. She said I made her feel bad.I honestly did not get angry or even change my tone of voice. If I would have I would admit it but I didn't. I just said, ok. And continued on. This made me upset.Here I am trying to keep the sparks going and she gets mad at me for it. Am I really at fault here?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): I can't believe these people are trying to blame you for her unwillingness to be spontaneous.sometimes women don't want you to jump straight to the sex. But sometimes women need to know how you feel about intimacy. Talk to your wife. Express your desire to be more connected with her.obviously the phone game made her feel uncomfortable. So find something else or agree to the game at a level she is comfortable with.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Just a guess, but she isn't getting enough Emotional stimulation from you. She gets enough financial support and sexual stimulation. But not enough Hugs and "I love you"s. Sounds like she knows you think she is attractive, But she's not sure you love her.
FA
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Maybe the transition to sexy mode to "just business" mode was a little too sharp and even if you did not get angry,she feels that she has disappointed you or she did not meet your expectations so she feels bad.
Perhaps she felt the transition from pink undies to insurance plan was too 180 ° and betrayed your annoyance.
Next time, try throwing in something like " Sorry babe I did not catch you in the right mood, but you know how I am, I think about you all the time " - or something similar. Something romantic and reassuring.
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