A
female
age
41-50,
*abypie
writes:I have been with my partner for over 2 years and our wedding is booked. He owns a house with his ex and is in the process of selling it. She has been a nightmare through the whole thing and we have had to go to court and all sorts. Finally she is being human and my partner has been going to the house to decorate it. I had no problems with this and most of the time he tells me when she or he has texted each other, even shows me the text, however when i was on a night shift he rang her in the middle of the night. Should I be worried or am I just being paranoid? I am naturally insecure and paranoid due to past relationships and don't want to lose him.
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his ex, insecure, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): If he is usually very open and honest about their contact it is strange that he called her and didn't tell you. Calling her in the middle of the night is even stranger! Maybe you could tell him you know he called and ask whats going on.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 I don't think you have anything to worry about at this point. He's been transparent in his dealings with her. There has been hostility between them and the contact they have is sort their affairs and not have a reason to keep in touch.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (8 September 2011):
If he is as open as you say he is then why don't you ask him what they talked about? I am sure you are making something out of nothing. Talk to him before you completely blow this out of proportion in your head and make it in to some kind of massive issue.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 How do you know that he rang her in the middle of the night?
Did you go snooping?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): Until the house is sold he probably needs contact with her. I would just say to him that you are looking forward to the day she is out of your lives, hopefully when the house is sold. Do not destroy your relationship with insecurities, you have to trust him until things prove otherwise. It may be that she is clinging on to him in some way. Just make it clear that at some point soon he should have no further contact with her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Seems like you don't quite trust him Have he ever given you reason to not trust? If not you need to think about this, specially BEFORE you say I Do.
Ask him. Just tell him you find it a little odd that he still keeps in contact with her. Be honest with him.
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